The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Tomorrow I return to regular work. Bleh. Fotima and I threw in “Real Genius” and she said, at the title screen where you select to play movie or for specific chapters, “this looks dangerously nerdy.” Heck yes.

Vending Machine Wisdom (or Vending Machine Whore)

I have a simple recipe
For which you’ll soon thank me

Your boss is going to have a meeting,
(They’re always kind of a beating)
So, naturally, it’ll be better if you’re eating!

Do like me –
Act stupidly.
Seek respite
With a sugar-filled bite.

If your day is dragging, just mix
The dullness with some Dunkin Stix.

Keep out the paddle-piddle,
Pop in your mouth a delicious Skittle.

The intern gave you the finger?
Ignore it, and eat a Zinger.

Since there’s that meeting you can’t skip,
Bring your friend and mine, the Sun Chip.

If you’re a more health-conscious snacker
You can have a (lame)non-frosted Animal Cracker

Don’t let that report linger,
Treat yourself to a Butterfinger!

The email you’re reading is painfully dumb,
Time to taste the terrible sugary goodness of Zebra Stripe gum.

A thousand ‘atta boys’ aren’t worth an ‘awwww shit!’
So you’re hiding in the bathroom with a Whatchamacallit.

‘Oh no, this is wrong, wrong, wrong!’
Your angry stare goes soft … can I have that Ding Dong?

Soon you’ll be Mr. (or Mrs.) Productivity!
And after your insulin shot you’ll smile proudly!

With a sugar rush your day is less of a bore,
So do like me, become a vending machine whore!

Comments on: "De Jour of the Week (7/25/10)" (2)

  1. DumbFunnery said:

    Hey – you’re not human if you’re not a bit of a food whore not and again. Isn’t that what America’s founding fathers were all about?

  2. I’m not a vending machine whore. With me it’s more like a mistress who sits around waiting for me to call, but I only do on special occasions, like when the missus (balanced meal?) is out visiting her sister for the weekend.

    Now if we’re talking convenience stores… then I might be a bit of a whore there.

    Real Genius is awesome. I watched that movie so much as a kid I still cold quote large passages.

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