The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

De Jour of the Week (9/14/10)

I wrote this in my graphical user interface class in college. What a good student I am. Anyhow, now that I’m back at school hopefully I won’t be slacking off and writing nonsense like this …

Oh, and this is written from the perspective of my stomach. This was from a joke gone wrong. I said my stomach’s name is Seymour, then yelled, “FEEEEED ME SEYMOUR!” Then realized my mistake. Oh well, Seymour it is.

Also dig the reference to Keystone Light. YES!

Seymour (My Stomach’s Name)

“No one pays attention to me!”
I say loudly with a scowl,
Trust me on the volume of my growl.
It’s not my choice, I didn’t want this to be!

I’d much rather be a calf, an elbow or toes.
I didn’t make this decision, it’s just how it goes.

I’m embarrassed, don’t look, I’m going to flee!
Just get me a sandwich, a cracker, a crumb!
You know that I know you’re not really that dumb.
“I’ll show you!”, I say, forcefully.

Don’t pat me, you fool, I can never be soothed!
I’m telling you! Begging you! Give me some food!

At last! My wish is heard! I know nothing but glee!
We’re here at the fridge, what’s in it, I wonder?
Dos Equis? Michelob? Keysone? What blunder!
Ah ha, at the top! What’s that I see?

Moon pies, cereal and jalapeno bread?
I’m in Heaven, it’s true. I can be fed!

“Someone has finally paid attention to me!”
That’s what that growl meant, a kind thank you,
Now we can sit, relax, and maybe nap too.
“Oh, wait, uh oh” I realize terribly,

I wasn’t even hungry, I feel so childish…
Say! What’s in that covered dish?

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