The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘whoops!’

Craigslist Missed Connections I Could See Myself Posting

I

We Had a Moment?? – m4w – 26

I was out jogging so I didn’t have my glasses on – but I couldn’t stop looking at you* and I think we had a moment?

*Assuming you are female. If you are not this is a total joke. Also get a haircut, your pony tail is misleading.

II

Hopefully you like shy guys… – m4w – 26

We were both at Some-Buddy’s Bar last night and I didn’t talk to you or really make much eye contact because I was playing coy. So … dang.

III

Undo Button … – m4w – 26

We met last night while standing in line at the grocery store and we were having an awesome little conversation and everything was great and I was about to ask for your number when I made that joke about if you had a more attractive sister.

The bagger laughed?? Does that count for anything?

Anyway – again, totally joking. We should hang out sometime? I’d love to meet your family? (Too soon to joke about this again? We’ll give it time …)

IV

Flirtatious Drool – m4w – 26

You told me I had an awesome t-shirt and I smiled and drooled a little ice cream.

We should meet up. But not for ice cream.

V

Silver Medal is Still Good? – m4w – 26

I went up to you and your group of friends and the four of us talked for like an hour. It was awesome. I felt like you were really digging me and I was definitely interested in you as well.

I also happened to be slightly interested in your friend. Who happened to have a very large boyfriend. So when I asked her to dance I meant as friends, because, you know, you’re clearly the coolest. I really wanted to dance with you, I just pitied your friend?

…This will make a great ‘how we met’ story??

Attn: Ellen (7/6/11)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is:

Dear Ellen,

I feel like the signing of the Declaration of Independence may have had the same kind of “next day effect” as being drunk and saying “I love you” to someone. You know, you wake up the next day and say, “wait WHAT did I say?!”

Hope you had a nice 4th of July and didn’t commit yourself to anything crazy.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Haircut – Weekly Wacko (69)

My mom gave me a haircut today (I wrote this when I was home). She gave my dad, brother and I haircuts while I was growing up – same(ish) great(ish) haircut, same great price!. She was the Henry Ford of haircuts, we could have any haircut we wanted as long as it was the one she did.

Here were some overheard in the barber’s chair (a stool from our kitchen) snippiets:

Mom: Oof!

Minutes later.

Mom: Wow …

Minutes later.

[Mom asking for clarification on what I want.]

Me: I don’t know. Something that looks decent?

Mom: Well I don’t know what it’ll look like.

(Swell.)

Minutes later.

Mom: Oooh. Whitewalled.

Me: Good. I’ve been wanting to look more militaristic.

***

Anywho … Thanks for the haircut ma!

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