10) “Sir please take off your pants and do the macarena. It’s for the greater good.”
9) “DANG dude why are you so turned … Oh that’s actually a gun!? … What do I do now?”
8) “Do you love America? Eat the magic Jello while I stare at your package. Also, let me see your penis.”
7) “Do you mind if I take off my pants too?”
6) “Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Either way *snap of latex glove* bend over.”
5) “I guess if I was stranded on a desert island I would take my favorite movie – The Secretary – a tent, and some stranger to grope.”
4) “Sir. SIR! Please don’t discuss politics in public that’s bad form … Hey!, somebody’s not circumcised!”
3) “Welcome to the airport … Re-live your disappointing prom night sexual experience!”
2) “I didn’t go to four minutes of TSA medical school to be questioned by some commoner!”
1) “Just picture this as a Prince music video and you’ll actually enjoy it.”
I’m traveling to the San Francisco bay area this weekend to see J Minnie, Theresa and other pals. Wish me luck!
DumbFunnery 
Comments on: "Top 10 Overheard TSA Statements" (9)
Doing the macarena IS for the greater good. It’s the only way to attain world peace.
I’m so not looking forward to flying this Christmas. I’m hoping that PSX (Palm Springs) is still small enough not to have one of those machines. – G
PS – Every time I see a Cover Girl commercial with Ms. Degeneres, I think of you and wonder, “Hey, is Brad publsihed yet?”
haha awesome! glad to be associated with ellen!
Also, so far I’ve had good luck. SFO (san fran) had one of those machines but I was not selected to go through it. Though I was curious.
Don’t put up with this garbage! Boycott Flying COMPLETELY, until sanity returns! Please join us: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Boycott-Flying/126801010710392
Hey look – someone using this as a place to politic. Neat!
I thought #8 was the funniest and #5 the most disturbing.
#5 will be printed on a shirt and sent to you post-haste
Great!
“Do you mind if I take off my pants too?”
haha thank you pat!