The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘gun’

Attn: Ellen (9/10/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

If there was an actual Texas pan with the panhandle as the actual pan handle what would its signature dish be?

Trick question!

The pan would have your Texas state concealed handgun license (CHL) engraved on it.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

How to Deal with Criminals – Poetry Style

Sometimes crime happens. And a criminals worst nightmare might by a little poetry. Memorize these, they could save you some grief.

I

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If I put down my gun
So should you

II

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
No, because summer never stole my favorite shoes.
Please give them back.

III

Sweet as a cookie,
Sharp as a tack.
My car was not bought
To experience carjack.

IV

O captain, my captain
Where is my watch?
Seriously … who took my watch.

V

The devil dances
And dines
And devours
The unwary travelers of life
You’re not the devil
But you come close with that knife

VI

What is life?
What is the purpose for all of this strife?
Who are we?
Please, anonymous hacker, un-steal my identity?

Where’s My Beret?

Some “art” done by doing a screen capture on the background, then drawing in some sweetness with Paint. Behold …

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