DumbFunnery

The MS 150 is a 2-day bike ride that I will be attempting in April. I will be biking from Houston to Austin.

Say, is Houston the nickname you gave for your apartment, and Austin the nickname you gave for your next door neighbor’s apartment? No, silly. The real cities in Texas. Why bike between them? Well, it’s simple, I hate myself.

Tomorrow begins the class I am taking to train for this (since I never really bike). I am afraid for my future self. Today I bought bike shorts and I am afraid for anyone who will be near/have to see my future self. Those things hug in all the wrong ways. The padding makes it feel like you are being constantly lightly groped in the weirdest spot.

Here’s the thing though … No matter how confident I am that I will look like an idiot in those things, I give it four weeks at most before I will consider taking a picture of myself in them, and then sending it to a random number. I’m kidding about that part. But how frightening would that be? Maybe attach the phrase, “that’s what I thought” or “don’t disappoint Jerry.” That person would change their number pronto.

When I tell people that I am doing a 2-day bike ride to Austin they ask, “how are you getting back?” That’s when I respond, “with finesse.” And that’s when they stop talking to me. But, sincerely, I really ought to look up how we get back.

Hopefully I’ll encounter pretty things when I ride outside, and hopefully pretty people in class (though I’m pretty sure the class has 9 people and we’re all guys).

Wish me luck!