The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

1 – Nearing the turn around point, this one super pretty girl. Yes, she alone counts as a highlight. I thought to myself, “ok, pick up the pace and catch her …” (She ran too fast for me right now.) After I hit the turn around point I realized, no dice on miss magically pretty. Wherever you are, fast-paced nice legs, I like your legs. And probably your face. (I wasn’t wearing my glasses, but I’m pretty sure she was hot?)

2 – With about 1 mile to go I passed a really tall black dude. He said, “get it brother.” Yeah, that’s what’s up. I guess you could say I’m good at ‘race’ relations … get it? Because he’s black, and we were racing? Oh, yes, that’s Frasier worthy.

3 – Ok. Here I’ll show some running prejudice. I don’t like it when people jog like a dummy with a fast car on a road full of stop lights. It bothers me to see someone run really fast, slow, slow, slow, walk, repeat.

I passed by a guy who was doing this, then he got into the fast mode and sprinted past me, about 30 seconds later I passed him again.

After the run ended I was hanging out by the finish line when I see him cross. “WHOOOOO!” he shouted excitedly, raising one arm to the sky. Then he leans over, puts his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath … and PUKES like a champ. I just stared (and continued to eat my banana). His parents corraled him and steered him away from standing right in the middle of the road, and then he puked some more.

4 – I established a new identity for myself. Helpful post-race banana guy.

a – Two girls working a tent for another run (one that benefits cancer research) walked up to the food tent. “Can we have some food?” One volunteer looks at the head volunteer who says, “No, it’s just for the runners.” Then he looks over at the other volunteers and says again, loudly, “the food is only for the runners!” A minute or so later I go up and grab two bananas. I walk over to the girls at the cancer run tent, put the banana on the table and say, “I smuggled you a banana.” Then I walk away. Seriously. I wasn’t even attracted to either of them and this is the phrase that came out of my mouth. Can you imagine the creepy/weird thing I would’ve said if I’d talked to the pretty girl? Frightening.

b – A girl is talking to her friend. “Do you know if they have food here? I really want a banana!” I say, “there’s bananas over there,” and point. She turns and laughs saying, “oh I guess you heard me!” then she kinda goes in for a hug? I give her a confused look and sort of back up. In my defense, she was really sweaty.

Impressive how many little micro-awkward moments there can be between 7 and 730 am on a Sunday surrounded by sweaty people, huh?

On a bragging personal note, I got 25th in the race!! Go go gadget gazelle legs!

This gets me halfway to accomplishing another one of the 80 or so items on my 2012 Bucket List! See the full list here.

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Comments on: "Highlights from the 5k I Recently Ran" (1)

  1. I was running a 5-miler once with a buddy of mine in Illinios. We were sticking together until a pretty female runner passed us. I managed to keep up with her for the next couple miles before she picked up her pace. You should try a missed connection on craigslist with yours. It’s probably not too late.

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