The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

My Zombie Roomy (9/21/12)

The Zombie is a real jerk, but he’s clever. I had him all wrong. It turns out the Zombie wasn’t pointing at Flannery O’Conner’s The Complete Stories but one of my Jack Handy’s Deep Thoughts books. He was going to bag himself some easy prey.

Watching the Olympics made the Zombie come to a realization. While I was impressed with their athleticism and strength, he was too. Maybe more so. The Zombie realized, when people put their minds to it, they’re pretty tough to chase down and eat.

You know who is not tough to eat? People who aren’t athletes.

The Zombie smells just like Whataburger. With a hint of trash. And the usual death, and decay.

It’s gross. He apparently spent the whole time I was gone (plus some) hanging out at the Whataburger. Based on some intricate charades I figured out that his favorite time of day was when this bar that is right near the Whataburger lets out. Chow time, folks.

He knows I don’t really like when he eats people. But I have to admit, I was the least mad I could possibly be when I found out the bar is this one that is a hot spot for racist rednecks. The Zombie is no Dexter, but he’s got a certain style to his mealtime choices.

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Comments on: "My Zombie Roomy (9/21/12)" (6)

  1. Cocktails of History and Prose said:

    I know you already thought about this… but you and your zombie roommate would make a great t.v show. My vote is you put a proposal together and pitch it to an agent, now. You can use your blog entries as fodder, and examples.

    • Wow! I haven’t seen you on the blogosphere in a long while. I hope everything is well!

      And yes … I should do something like that. I have a lot of good, deliberately dumb video ideas that I should make a reality.

      Thanks for the visit!

      • Cocktails of History and Prose said:

        Ya… I decided to stress myself out and write a 94,000 word historical novel. It’s done now. Thinking about getting back into my blog, poor thing that it is. I went to a writer’s conference and there were a lot of peeps pitching tv ideas based on proposals. I think you really have a shot — think about it.

      • Wow – that is an impressive tome.

        Are you pitching it/writing query letters and such like crazy?

        Thank you for the compliment … I just may sit down to try and do that. It’d be a fun project even if it does no good.

  2. I hadn’t thought about it, but if we could focus their “food” preferences, to “racist rednecks” and similar types, we could make this world a better place to live. Better Life Through Zombies!

  3. I don’t know. If you are what you eat, do you really want the zombie eating racist rednecks?

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