The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

(Ring … ring … ring …)
Dad: Hey Lisa, how are you!?
Lisa: Dad! I’m GREAT!
Dad: Wow, you do sound excited! What’s got you in such a good mood?
Lisa: (Giggles) Well … Want to grab mom?
Dad: That big, huh!? Yeah, I’ll grab her. Julie! … JULIE!
Lisa: Dad the house isn’t that big, you can just –
Dad: JULIE!
Mom: What?
Lisa: … (Exhales)
Dad: Lisa’s on the phone! She’s got great news!
Mom: She’s got great booze? Hold on, let me pick up the phone.
Dad: Mom wants to know if you have great booze.
(Click.)
Mom: Hello?
Lisa: Booze?
Dad: Hey! Everyone’s here!
Mom: You called home to talk about booze?
Dad: Is that your news? News about booze?
Mom: Honey are you ok?
Lisa: Agh! Stop it! No! I have great NEWS.
Mom: Ohhhh … Good … And it’s not about booze, right?
Lisa: No, mom, it’s not about booze.
Mom: Good.
Lisa: Ok … ready?
Mom: Yes!
Dad: Yes!
Lisa: I … am … going to be … in a BIG BUDGET MOVIE!!
Mom: That’s GREAT!
Dad: All right!!!
Lisa: I know! I’m super super excited! It’s an Adam Sandler movie, so it’s not like it’s the brainiest thing ever but –
Dad: Oh he’s famous!
Mom: Yeah, I’ve heard of him! He’s very famous!
Lisa: Yeah, he’s famous, I mean, it’s not like it’s an intelligent movie or anything –
Dad: Is it Happy Gilmore?
Mom: Oh, Happy Gilmore Two? Happy Gil-even-more?
Dad: Oh I like that! Are you his daughter?
Lisa (Annoyed)… Can I talk? Please?
Dad: Yes. Sorry.
Lisa: … Ok … So … It’s just a small role, but I’m going to be in the COMMERCIAL for the movie too! How crazy is that!?
Dad: Wow! Honey, that is SO GREAT!
Mom: We are SO proud of you, darling!
Lisa: Thanks guys!
Mom: So what role do you play? Do you have to go … what’s it called … study someone and learn to be like them?
Lisa: Um … well … I think it’s more … Hollywood is tricky, you know? Like you do something that’s pretty trivial, (speaking very quickly) and maybe a little bit demeaning, and then all the sudden you’re KNOWN! And you get a little bit better role next time! And the time after that! And soon you can be choosy!
Dad: …
Mom: … Honey, what kind of movie did you say this was?
Lisa: It’s a comedy! I just …
Dad: What’s your part in the movie?
Lisa: (Big sigh) I um … I jog by … In slow motion and …
Dad: …
Mom: …
Lisa: Um … and I … just … look like … a lady.

Really, how does this conversation go?

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