The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Labor Day 2038

Today is Labor Day. According to the United States Department of Labor this is defined as

Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.

What you may not know is that Labor Day, starting in the year 2038, will be a day of unbelievable cruelty. But, only for a select few.

Starting in 2038 (I’d explain more but honestly give me some credit for at least being able to know the future partly) Labor Day will be a day when mothers (I’m not sure if that includes pregnant women too) will be allowed to inflict any amount of pain to anyone. They will not be allowed to kill people, but they can beat and berate to their heart’s content. The day will not longer be a day that is designed to pay tribute to workers, but instead it will be a day designed to level the field – to equalize the amount of pain endured during labor mothers will be allowed to inflict pain on others at their own whim.

Labor Day, the most feared day off work for the majority of the world’s population.

In the meantime, I hope you’re enjoying your present day Labor Day!

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