DumbFunnery

To Whom it May Concern:

Yesterday (May 3, 2015) a personal ad I had paid for was in the paper but it had an IMPORTANT TYPO. I would like a FULL REFUND or the ad placed again in next Sunday’s paper.

To be fair, I will pay half the price to place the ad again because I actually got some useful information about ill-intentioned plants from two of the three people who responded to my ad. Below, please find the ad. Might I suggest a simple COPY AND PASTE to avoid TYPOS. Note also that the first word is PLANS and not PLANTS.

Thank you,
Berthel Seymour

PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION
Seeking individuals with GRAND IDEAS, leadership abilities and knowledge of how to run the world better. Please be ruthless cutthroat and driven BUT loyal to me (I can’t execute my plans with fear of being backstabbed literally or figuratively). Speaking of stabbing please be good with knives.
Contact me at bertyseymourxoxo@aol.com. The world awaits!!

The might saguaro – one of five evil plants I now know about.