The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Dear Guy at the Urinal

Why, when you’re peeing, do you flush before, during AND after? What is that!?

 

I don’t know that it’s dirty, because I doubt anyone else does this … but why are you leaning forward so that your head is resting on the wall?

 

Why, when you’re done, do you shake it like you’re angry at it? You should get that figured out, with someone else.

 

Why did you look over, and then when you saw it was me, start a conversation? Why for all of that? Why? If it was someone else, would you have not started talking? If so, can I be added to the list of not-talking people?

 

Why do you do a cartoon super villain laugh, where it starts slow and gets faster and louder and your eyes get large and you look around the room in a challenging manner … Nah, just kidding. That’s me. I do that. It’s my ONE quirk, ok? Everyone is allowed one. My sincerest apologies for any and all males though.

 

No talkie, please.

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