DumbFunnery

December 1 (Friday)
What is happiness?
The kiddo sleeping on me
With little sleep sounds

December 2 (Saturday)
Went shopping today
The dog stayed home and practiced
Her best forlorn look

December 3 (Sunday)
Vid of kid sneezing
And … is that MY voice? Gushing?
WHAT HAVE I BECOME?!?

December 4 (Monday)
Hi ho! Hi ho! It’s
(Dramatic audible sigh)
Back to work I go

December 5 (Tuesday)
Winter has arrived
As evidenced by my hands
Dry, cracked, scaly hands

December 6 (Wednesday)
If Quasimodo,
Camels fought for ‘hump day’ rights
Who would win the fight?

December 7 (Thursday)
Got sis from airport
Quick bathroom stop at Dunkin’
Hellooooo donut holes

December 8 (Friday)
Vacation day, fools!
Brewery tour with the sis
Yes please, free samples

December 9 (Saturday)
Take out Thai food plus
Bad Netflix Christmas movie
Equals a good night

December 10 (Sunday)
Aw, happy baby!
AH! Upset screaming baby!!
… My circle of life

December 11 (Monday)
My moment of Zen
Is picturing the kiddo’s
Big, goofy smile

December 12 (Tuesday)
Christmas shopping done!
But for buying myself junk
It’s open season

December 13 (Wednesday)
People have spoken!
Thank God ‘Bama has black folks
White ‘Bamans … The hell?

December 14 (Thursday)
The internet’s free
To be broken for profit
Thank you FCC

December 15 (Friday)
Kid can’t do dairy
So the wife cut out dairy
No milk … For good milk

December 16 (Saturday)
Hosted a small brunch
Everyone there has babies
Life moves pretty fast

December 17 (Sunday)
Kiddo’s belly’s off
Poor kids hardly slept last night
Mom and Pop? No sleep.

December 18 (Monday)
Check the to do list
Huh, it says ‘Be unproductive
Just count til Christmas’

December 19 (Tuesday)
Christmas card crafting
Or, a chance to be cheesy
And show off my son

December 20 (Wednesday)
So great it’s Friday!
*Looks at clock, blinks, sighs, bows head*
I feel so betrayed

December 21 (Thursday)
Tree falls in the woods
Tree summers in the mountains
Tree has some nice homes

December 22 (Friday)
Who here among us
Would like to cast the first stone?
(Glass house unveiling)

December 23 (Saturday)
Hello vacation!
Ten days of sitting around
Plain old glorious

December 24 (Sunday)
Wife’s folks and grandfolks
Visiting us for Christmas
Our kiddo’s first one!

December 25 (Monday)
Merry Christmas, all!
And to those who could care less
Happy Monday, all!

December 26 (Tuesday)
Food out for rabbits
Courtesy my wife’s grandpa
They took most of it!

December 27 (Wednesday)
Saw Star Wars!
He was all, ‘hey man, same team?’
She was like, ‘as if!’

December 28 (Thursday)
Wake up with kiddo
We play or he naps on me
Joys of staycation

December 29 (Friday)
Nature can be cruel
My son gives a giant pout
I giggle, say ‘awwww!’

December 30 (Saturday)
‘Don’t Know What That Means
But it Sounds Intelligent???’
My auto-bio

December 31 (Sunday)
Rang in the new year
By making good burritos
PARTY FOR LIFE, YA’LL