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The Loneliest Clone
March 18, 2016
I am a genetic experiment gone awry
But more than that – I think I’m a pretty nice guy
Just take a chance on me
Take a chance, and you’ll see!
If you could look past my rough exterior
To my superior interior
I think it’d be plain to see
I’m someone you’d like at your next party
The scientist admitted he was drunk when he made me
My fourth arm, for example, appears somehow racist and hazy
I’m a great listener despite having only one ear
But, may I just say, I don’t just listen, I hear
Tell me your stories, your jokes, your woes
I’ll be your devoted audience in smell-proof clothes
A good clone is idempotent
I have claws, fangs, fur, and I’m impotent
That said, a party would be better with my wit
On my search for friends, I’ll never quit
Attn: Ellen (3/16/16)
March 16, 2016
Front
Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is
Dear Ellen,
I could see myself living here. I would wear flannel, eat fish for dinner caught from a fishing rod hanging out of my bedroom window. AND living in a perpetual state of wanting to pee. Just think of that soundtrack of roaring water ALL THE TIME and whelp, time to pee again.
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
DumbFunnery 
Written
on March 21, 2016