The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Attn: Ellen (5/2/18)

Front

Ellen347a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen347b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

How about we co-create a show? It’s called Brussel Sprouts. And it’s a fairly boring detective, named Brussel Sprouts, and his mediocre detective-ing, failed dating attempts, and love of horses. Sounds too good to be true, huh?

Call me. It’s not.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

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When News Breaks …

At DumbFunnery, we take journalistic integrity as the value of highest importance. So when news breaks – we’ll be there with duct tape!

(No. No, that’s not what that phrase means.)

Ah! DumbFunnery, a bastion of ethics and go-get-em-ics, is ready to hide a lock pick and a shiv in a home-baked cake to help BREAK OUT that news!

(What on Earth? That’s worse. Definitely not that. Just give me a sec and I’ll explain …)

DumbFunnery, armed with a pen, a love of the truth, and a cardboard box, is around for breaking news. Lay down a beat, do the cabbage patch, and let’s breakdance the news.

(…I don’t understand. How are you so unaware of what breaking news means?)

DumbFunnery never takes their foot off the gas, charging hard and fast until – SCREEEEEEEEE – it’s time to brake … for news?

(That’s somehow the most wrong, and the closest?)

DumbFunnery, grabbing the blanket of journalism and a cup of hot tea of hard-hitting questions, is here to help you get back to feeling ready to take on the world. Because sure, news broke up with you, but hang in there tiger, it’s just a bit of breaking news.

(Fine. Let’s go with that.)

When news breaks (up) … DumbFunnery is here to watch Love Actually, maybe call your ex and make funny noises until your ex hangs up, and perhaps even … win a Pulitzer?

Recently I dropped my son off at daycare for his first day there EVER. Woah! First let me say that my wife and I are spoiled: he didn’t start daycare til he was just over 7 months old (fantastic), and the daycare seems to be great.

But.

Leading up to this, in the past month or so, our son had begun to show little hints of ‘stranger danger’ signs … Meaning he might look askance or be a little worried or uncomfortable if someone new was to hold him. This had created in me a real dread over his first day. The night before his first day the closest approximation for what I felt was akin to knowing you would be breaking up with someone. Yes, it was the right thing to do, and yes, it was good for everyone, but in the short-term … woe is you, woe is me.

I knew, and know, that my son is likely to roll with this change better than I am. But the morning was a fun one.

Driving to the daycare was short, we’re only about 10 minutes from there. And from the daycare to my work it’s another 10. I talked to the kiddo about his day with occasional abrupt changes of topic.

  • ‘We’ll get there, say hi to the other kiddos, say hi to your teacher, and then dad will … leave.’ (Change of topic.)
  • ‘Oh look at the mountains! They have so much pretty snow! Maybe we should just call in sick and bail on this?’ (Change of topic.)
  • ‘One day you’re going to come home from school and you’re going to tell us all about your day and that’ll be so fun! … Or if it’s a bad one we’ll get ice cream.’ (Change of topic.)
  • ‘Ok buddy, let’s talk about what dad will think about to keep himself from crying after … Anyway, we could think about cats playing with a ball of yarn. What? Why is that what popped into my head? Instead, dad could think about dinosaurs! Cool stuff, huh?’

I was genuinely surprised after so many almost-starts with crying that I didn’t shed a single tear with the drop off. I think figuring out the logistics distracted me, and a few things had gone a little wonky. (Where do I put the car seat? HOW DID THIS MILK SPILL FROM THIS STUPID BOTTLE? Ew gross, get that runny nose baby away from my baby.) Overall, the drop-off … happened.

Dad Strategy number 1? I feel like I should have one given the name of this post. Hmmm. Here it is: cry, don’t cry, whatever, it’s all good, just don’t stare your child in the face while handing him to someone while crying (that was a worry).

Attn: Ellen (4/25/18)

Front

Ellen348a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen348b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I worry that Earth might be the K-Mart of the universe, with aliens cruising by saying, “huh, they’re still in existence?”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Music Monday

 

 

 

Trying to make sure I’ve got all the dance moves set for a wedding next month

 

This Playlist

All Songs in One Playlist

Dear Avid Fan

I’ve been sick this past week (thank you germ factory that is daycare) and when I’m sick creative and weird thoughts are quick to go … as is a desire to accomplish anything.

Next week tune back in for drivel, the kind of drivel only a man-child could deliver.

Also you’ll be delighted to know I’ll update you about my sickness in the 8 month blog post about the kiddo!

Til later, fan.

IMG_20180408_091742935

Mountain Goatye

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Alambis Morissette

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Owl Green

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Harry Elafonte

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Moose Springsteen

 

Thankfully there are also a lot of Barry singers, because we have quite a few bears. Chuck Beary, Beary Manilow … other ones that of course I’m drawing a blank on right now.

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