The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘noun’

Part of the Brood

The kiddo and I were at a park earlier today when we almost got … indoctrinated. I was sitting on the edge of a sandbox (it’s an awesome park) and the kiddo was inside playing. Another kiddo, maybe a year or two older, was also playing in the sandbox with a dump truck.

Then I blinked and one of the other kid’s siblings appeared. This one was maybe a year or two older than the first one.

I blinked again and yikes, another one! This one maybe four or five years older.

man sitting on stairs

I typed in brood in the wordpress free photo library and it gave me this. Come on man, I meant brood the noun!

And oh lord, that kid circling who is a year or so younger than the youngest one … are you part of this pack?

It seems like many people are having fewer kids these days but there are some really bucking the trend. Kudos to you, weird commune seeming people. Oh wait, my son just picked up a fistful  of sand and in the same time he took that the commune-mom got pregnant. No, she wasn’t having sex at the park, it’s just the family is that efficient.

But wow … was that ever one relaxed family. One of the brood crying at all times, seemingly taking turns with who would be crying, a dad who wasn’t there, and a mom just floating around, thinking (I can only assume) murderous thoughts.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to convince my wife she should be pregnant and/or nursing for the next twelve years.

Brood, here we come!!

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Dear Jon Mad Lib

Heya (condescending nickname), how are you?

Listen, we really need to talk. Take a seat on that (noun).

Look, things between us have been (adjective), and it’s been wonderful. But then, last Tuesday, I was watching (movie or TV show) and it made me realize two things.

One, you look a lot like a young (B movie actor or actress).

I’m kidding. Please. Stop (synonym for crying).

But wait, I have more to (verb).

The other thing it made me realize is that, well, you aren’t (adjective) enough.

No! Wait! It’s not you!, it’s (noun)!

Honest, I wish things had gone differently.

But they didn’t, you (barn animal).

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