The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘celebrity’

Bizarre Dream

I just woke up, so I’m writing this out so I don’t forget it.

This is the only part of my dream that I remember.

I was sort of fighting (not punching, just pinning down) all these celebrities who play the main villains in horror movies. Not the villains themselves, the celebrities who play them. AND, the reason I was able to take on several at once … It was the celebrities as children.

It turns out (in my dream) the celebrities were really evil. I realized that no one ever wanted to make a scary movie, it’s just that these people would show up and start doing evil stuff and the director’s would go, “eh, all right, let’s film it.”

Maybe I had traveled back in time to stop these children (not babies, middle-school aged … I was fighting four or five of them so it was no small battle).

Weird, right?

But also, wouldn’t it be crazy to learn that a bunch of celebrities are evil?

Celebrity Comparison

Recently I went on a date. It went ok. (Except for the incredibly awkward ending where her ex came in with the girl he left her for – and they’d apparently gone on a date at that SAME PLACE just ONE month ago – and she ended up saying an awkward hello to him … yep.)

Something (else) funny happened on the date, though.

I went to the restroom (I have the bladder of a pregnant woman) and came back to the table. When I sat down she greeted me with a question along these lines,

“Have you ever been compared to a celebrity?”

Oh no. My brain immediately goes to oh no when someone brings this up.

“Um … why do you ask?” I say, probably showing amusement and concern on my opposite-of-poker-face.
“Who have you been compared to?”
“I don’t want to say … it might sway it …”
“Michael Cera.”

Yep. Michael Cera. Don’t get me wrong, I think he’s awesome. I’m a huge fan of Arrested Development and Scott Pilgrim. He is one funny dude. But, I think a lot of the humor from him comes from the fact that he’s so awkward. Also, although it’s weird to say this about another fella, I think he’s charming because he’s so disarming. So, I usually take this as a mixed bag compliment. But, really, I have gotten the comparison a number of times. And on dates, too.

There I am, trying to be funny and charming and cool, and they say, “ok, Cera.”

BUT! This time I got some good advice from The Storyteller:

“Start coming up with an immediate funny comparison comeback that leaves her thinking hey he really is a witty, funny guy and humble too.”

That is much better than my usual response of shrugging and saying, “yeah … ok.”

So if there’s a girl out there who likes the awkward charm of a three-legged puppy – give me a call some time.

%d bloggers like this: