The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dad joke’

Recent Dad Jokes

Friend after really pushing herself on at a 10k race: My stomach is upset.
Me: Did someone say something to it?
Friend (confusion)
Me: Something mean?

 

Friend: We’re going to have a wine party.
Me: Oh a bunch of people getting together to complain?

 

And one of my dad’s old standards …

Me: I’m hungry.
My dad: Nice to meet you, Hungry.

 

For more of this kind of humor, check out the reddit subpage called dad jokes.

Dad Jokes for Different Occupations

This morning Rainbow Speak and I (along with many others) volunteered for Habitat for Humanity. He and I ended up on the roof (sort of roof, it wasn’t complete) hammering … something. I forget what. From 8 to noon though we hammered away at whatever it was. Occasionally he’d say, nails in mouth, “this is a real nail-biter up here.” Terrible dad-joke. Which led me to this post. I apologize everyone, blame Rainbow Speak.

 

Carpenter (after being asked how was your day?): It was another nail-biter!

Pilot (after telling one joke while approaching the runway): I guess you could say we’re coming in a little funny.

Dentist (in fake sad voice): Bad news … it turns out I can’t handle the tooth.

Army (specifally if you’re named Joseph): GI Joe? When will they get my letters!? It’s JoSEPH. GI JoSEPH.

Rocket Scientist: Another tough day of work … Sometimes problems can be so difficult, but I just have to remind myself, “well it’s not rocket science, you can do this,” …….. oh wait …

Archaeologist: What tragedy is this I see! We get here and the place is already in ruins!?

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