The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Du Jour of the Week’

Turn Down For What?

If you haven’t heard, there’s a popular song right now by DJ Snake (yep) and Lil Jon which has the line “turn down for what” said quite frequently.

This begs the question, what are you turning down for?

Turn Down for …

5. Your friend with the relationship troubles in the backseat just got a call … Time to eavesdrop under the guise of letting her hear her conversation better.

4. Your girlfriend is asleep on the coach ten minutes into the movie she wanted to watch but that you didn’t. Volume: muted. XBOX 360? On. Destiny? You betcha.

3. What? Sorry, I had my headphones in. What?

2. Ooooh turn volume off! Turn the volume off! I think I heard my crazy old lady neighbor trying to sing rap songs!

1. You could’ve SWORN the turn was right there … Ugh! Ok, time to turn down the music because that’ll somehow make you less lost.

***

I was going to include the link for the video but then I watched it for the first time and it actually makes the lyrics for the song seem intelligent (aka the video is super dumb). So instead here’s a song I like. (The video is very odd but the song is fun.)

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Du Jour of the Week

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The Proud Coach

I’m proud of these boys. They fought hard. They never thought about quitting. They just thought about the next guy on the team and what they could do to help.

Heck, half of them don’t even know their names but if you ask them to play their hearts out they’ll do it without a second thought.

That guy over there would take a bullet for any of his teammates, but ask him a simple question?, well, you’ll find that he can only communicate with an intricate series of grunts. A language all his own.

I love these guys. They never say die. They don’t know the meaning of quit. Several of them eat rocks almost daily because they don’t understand simple food consumption. But if I could coach anyone, I wouldn’t have it be anyone but them.

With the game on the line, heck, I’m spoiled. I’ve got a few folks I wouldn’t hesitate to call on. This guy, to my right, he thinks that I’m his imaginary friend but talk about clutch. And to my left, this guy is all business, after I pick out his clothes for the day.

I’m a proud coach. I’ve got a great team and we were this close to being champs. We’ll be back next year for another try at this thing. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got some hugs to give and diapers to change.

Go team, go.

Welcome to Houston, coach. Houston, keep on keeping on it that ‘L’ column.

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You and Your Adorable Dog

Have you seen the bumper sticker “who rescued who?”

The idea is that by rescuing a dog from a shelter you are the one obviously doing the rescue … But this sticker asks a much more deep and emotional question, wondering if it really WAS you who rescued the dog. Or, perhaps because the dog has dragged you from a burning house while you were unconscious after a night of excessive drinking that would make a coked-up investment banker blush, it has turned out that the dog has rescued you.

But then, fueled by a massive ego and inflated feelings of self-worth, your dog may begin to demand sacrifice. Not one or two but ten walks a day. Not just kibbles and bits but things too. And possibly even stuff! Kibbles and bits and things and such add up, and with your rehab costs … can you afford it all? (The night of excess was your rock bottom, and your rescued dog/savior was your guiding light to taking a good, hard look at your life).

That’s right, Rover, without me this stuff might as well be a figment of your imagination.

In this case perhaps a “mutually rescued” bumper sticker would be the way to go. Or you could stick with “who rescued who” but next to that add a second sticker to let your pet know who is in charge. “Can open cans” text imposed over a human form (that would be you) or a hand print (to stick with the theme of appendages).

Yes, you and your adorable pet are both grateful for the other. But just know that your cat doesn’t give a flying funky about any of that.

 

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