The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Ellen DeGeneres’

Attn: Ellen (5/16/18)

Front

Ellen350a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen350b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

If I remember correctly this woman was the Side-Eye Champion of the Universe. She’s seen here practicing on a poor, unsuspecting umbrella.

Hang in there umbrella, she doesn’t mean it.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (5/2/18)

Front

Ellen347a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen347b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

How about we co-create a show? It’s called Brussel Sprouts. And it’s a fairly boring detective, named Brussel Sprouts, and his mediocre detective-ing, failed dating attempts, and love of horses. Sounds too good to be true, huh?

Call me. It’s not.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (4/25/18)

Front

Ellen348a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen348b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I worry that Earth might be the K-Mart of the universe, with aliens cruising by saying, “huh, they’re still in existence?”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?