The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Ellen DeGeneres’

Attn: Ellen (1/24/18)

Front

Ellen335a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen335b

The text of the postcard is (you may want to check out the postcard for some context)

Dear Ellen,

Here’s how I picture this going:

Male moose: “Knock-knock!”

Female moose: *Slowly shifts gaze*

Male moose: “Long time no talk! What’s it been, a year?”

Female moose: “Uh huh.”

Male moose: “So uh … how you been?”

Female moose: *rolls eyes*

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (1/17/18)

Front

Ellen334a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen334b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Did you know that 90% of children from Holland are happy?

The other 10% are those riding in the barrels. And they are very not happy.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (1/10/18)

Front

Ellen333a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen333b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Maybe this is wrong to wonder … But do you think terrorist groups, like bands, hang out wondering what their name should be?

“Dude! That name sucks! It doesn’t convey, like, our vibe.”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?