The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘life’

June 2019 Haiku

June 1 (Saturday)
Rainy days call for
Waterproof boots, a rain coat
And running around

June 2 (Sunday)
Playing at a park
That mom’s here with like 10 kids
You poor, poor woman

June 3 (Monday)
Intern’s hairdo says
‘I am very good at code.’
(Pssst. That means bad hair.)

June 4 (Tuesday)
Every chance I get
I’m scouting toys for my son
………. That I also want

June 5 (Wednesday)
Teammate shows idea
All: INTENSE TECHNICAL Q’s
(Nerd speak for: love it!)

June 6 (Thursday)
‘You Got Those Weird Poops’
It’s my new restaurant idea
All you can eat, obvs

June 7 (Friday)
Dad, son … Doing what?
Standing by a major road
Saying: ‘truck!’, ‘woahhhhh!’, ‘jeep!!’

June 8 (Saturday)
Dad’s day gift making
Impressive just how quickly
‘Art’ can become food

June 9 (Sunday)
Exploring new parks
My new favorite thing to do
With my little pal

June 10 (Monday)
Driving down defects
Writing tests can be painful
But mostly cathartic

June 11 (Tuesday)
USWNT
Out there like Alabama
vs South Vermont Prep

June 12 (Wednesday)
Car back from the shop
‘How’d it go?’ … ‘They called me gross.’
*Looks at car* … *Nods* … *Shrugs*

June 13 (Thursday)
Kid pet a bunny!
His lifelong (well, week-plus long)
Goal has been achieved!

June 14 (Friday)
Counting with my son
‘1’ “One!” ‘2 …’ “Twooooo!” ‘3!’ “FIVE!” ‘No,
Not yet doll it’s – ‘ “FIVE!”

June 15 (Saturday)
My new age track star
He gets ‘ready,’ ‘set,’ and ‘go’
… Runs to random spot

June 16 (Sunday)
Happy father’s day
What age will my son realize
Sealed fate of nerdness?

June 17 (Monday)
Colleague has fish lunch
You are to the microwave
What Trump is to States

June 18 (Tuesday)
Big sleep step for kid
No more sleep sack! (Which leads to …
Nighttime gymnastics)

June 19 (Wednesday)
No sleep sack update
Calmly reading bedtime book …
While son chants ‘sleep sack!’

June 20 (Thursday)
Lounging in backyard
Kiddo plays and talks to self
Life is just plain good

June 21 (Friday)
Costco trip with kid
Picky eater at home. Here?
Wolfs down the samples.

June 22 (Saturday)
Wife makes kid ‘coffee’
Milk, plus one part chocolate milk
Sit, and sip, as fam

June 23 (Sunday)
Raise shirt, slap belly
At a park later that day
Kid mimics me … Great …

June 24 (Monday)
Kid crawls into car
Spots, snags an old gummy bear
“Gummy!!” said with JOY

June 25 (Tuesday)
Got called ‘hip’ today
I’m not hip. At all. Trust me.
It’s just ‘young’ in disguise

June 26 (Wednesday)
Three word phrases! Whoo!
‘Not the hands’ kid says, doing …
… What I said not to …

June 27 (Thursday)
You know what I like?
Every bad movie out there
Has one “it’s good!!!” fan

June 28 (Friday)
Heading to Houston
Heat, humidity, and fam
(Fam time gets first place)

June 29 (Saturday)
Wife’s grandma’s birthday
Wife gets up to say something
Me: ‘look!’ Son: ‘OUTSIDE?!?’

June 30 (Sunday)
Toy weed wacker gift.l
It. Is. A. HIT. Kid patrols
Backyard, weed wacking

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How to Deal with Criminals – Poetry Style

Sometimes crime happens. And a criminals worst nightmare might by a little poetry. Memorize these, they could save you some grief.

I

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If I put down my gun
So should you

II

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
No, because summer never stole my favorite shoes.
Please give them back.

III

Sweet as a cookie,
Sharp as a tack.
My car was not bought
To experience carjack.

IV

O captain, my captain
Where is my watch?
Seriously … who took my watch.

V

The devil dances
And dines
And devours
The unwary travelers of life
You’re not the devil
But you come close with that knife

VI

What is life?
What is the purpose for all of this strife?
Who are we?
Please, anonymous hacker, un-steal my identity?

Life

Day after day
Decision after countless decision
You live your life
Millions of quick yes’s or no’s
Do this, do that
Most of them are easy
Done without conscious thought
Some are made without you
Made for you
Some are Difficult
Involving thinking,
A choice between two pools
Of muddy water
Some you don’t want to make
And then
And then there’s the impossible decision
Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bells

***

I wrote this while eating at a combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell, and then read it to my friend. After I finished she shook her head and said, “I thought you were actually trying to write a good poem.” I laughed and said, “NOPE!”

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