German Language Committee Meeting
Person 1: Hello, welcome, we will now begin the German Language Committee Meeting.
Person 2: Suggest removal of the chairperson, who wasted time stating the obvious.
Rest of Committee, in unison: Agreed.
Person 1: Respectfully, I agree. I will run this meeting and henceforth not show up. Today’s first word is bagel, which is currently ‘bagel’ in the German language. We want to make this ‘more German.’ Please write down your ideas.
(Committee members write furiously.)
Person 1: Please announce your ideas.
Rest of Committee, in unison: Brotmitlochinmitte! (Which translates literally to, ‘bread with hole in middle.’)
Person 1: Adopted. The next word is cat, which is currently ‘katze’ in German. This has been deemed ‘too weak.’ Please write down your ideas.
(Committee members write furiously.)
Person 1: Please announce your ideas.
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Committee Member A: My word is kleinerschwacherhund. (Which translates literally to, ‘small weak dog.’)
Committee Member B: My word is einsamepersonhaustier. (Which translates literally to, ‘lonely person pet.’)
Committee Member C: My word is andereshaushaustier. (Which translates literally to, ‘other house pet.’)
Person 1: I propose hundaberohnearbeitoderzuneigung. (Which translates literally to, ‘dog but without the work or affection.)
Person 2: This will be tabled as there is not currently a logical solution.
Person 1: The final word for today’s meeting is one that we have been asked to make less German. The word is ‘Rechtsschutzversicherungsgesellschaften’ and it means insurance companies providing legal protection. Please write down your ideas.
(Committee members write furiously.)
Rest of Committee, in unison: Bedeckedeinenarsch! (Which translates literally to, ‘cover your ass.’)
Person 1: The meeting has concluded.
Source … sorta …
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