The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.


I just got a haircut!

Fancy New Haircut!

I tell the clerk my name and take a seat
I pick up a national geographic from 4 years ago
(The article on that African tribe is really neat)
I can’t wait for the barber to hack off this fro

Oh man, that lady cutting hair looks really angry
But that one over there is really chatty
Angry-scissor wielding, or awkward small talk for me

Guy who is practically bald – I don’t get you
15 dollars to snip at four hairs and call it a hairdo?

They called my name!? I think? Was that my name?
“Uh …” my name or not, it’s my turn just the same

“Hi, how are you, nice to see you, whaddya want,”
Ahhhh, the impeccable grace of the hair-cutting debutante

Pointing to a picture on the wall
“Like that?, but not as short …”
“K,” she says without looking at the picture on the wall
To thoughts of ‘don’t fall asleep at the wheel!’ I quickly resort

“Thick hair,” with amusement.
“Enough hair for ten people,” with amazement.
“Eh … yikes,” like I’m varmint.
“When’s the last time you got a haircut?,” with derision-ment.

Snip, snip, goodbye locks of … like
No more will I have this head that is so mop-like

Out of my daydream (I was a millionaire quarterback!)
And I get a small attack

When I said ‘like that, but not as short,’
She must’ve heard, ‘please make it shorter than short, short, short.’

“You look better with shorter hair,” she says
To the person standing over me holding scissors, I lie, “yes.”

At last! – my fancy new haircut
And my post-haircut ritual
Feel in a rut,
Grab a beanie, ball cap, newsboy hat – anything while in hair-withdrawal.

Comments on: "De Jour of the Week (6/7/10)" (2)

  1. A very witty poem…fun to read…thanks!

  2. Good stuff. I wouldn’t argue with a mad hair cutter either.

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