The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘haircut’

Adventures in Haircuts

For the past two years or so I have been going to the same place to get my hair cut. I go to the place for two reasons:

  • It’s cheap
  • It’s close by

Clearly, I’m not too concerned with how my haircuts go. But it wouldn’t hurt me if I was. Except for a handful of occasions, I have left my haircutters of choice disappointed. I go assuming that I will leave with a haircut I don’t like. Usually it’s an easy problem though – they cut it shorter than I want. I can get over this because a week or two after I get my hair cut it will look nice, and because they cut it shorter than I want, they’re saving me money. Winners all around!

Unfortunately for me, I once had two good haircuts in a ROW from a girl who worked there briefly. Craziness! I left and thought, “hey I look nice” instead of, “hey I look like Jim Carrey from Dumb & Dumber.”  Bad haircut

Last week I was on my way to my usual hair cut place while talking to my sister on the phone. She helped convince me to head to a new place – for a good haircut! What an adventure! My ‘cheap’ criteria still had to be met so I just went to a different cheapskate place …

Much to my surprise, the haircut at this place was even worse. I have a weird bump on the back of my head which should be treated like a speed hump … the girl cutting my hair disagreed. In her mind pushing hard against my head with the clippers would round out my head in no time and make her future work easier (except I won’t be going back there).

I wanted to ask her if, in her mind, she and I had recently suffered from a bad break-up … because she really seemed angry.

Check out the lovely pictures I sent to my sister when I got home.

bad haircutbad haircut

< How do you have two ears SO different? >

 

 

 

 

 

For this one she told me my eyes made me look like a cartoon villain. I was going for a ‘shocked’ look.

bad haircut

I like to think it makes me look like I’m always at an angle. Head tilted questioningly.

Have no fear, dear reader, I fixed the ear problem with my razor. I’d say I’m looking pretty dapper.

Haircut – Weekly Wacko (69)

My mom gave me a haircut today (I wrote this when I was home). She gave my dad, brother and I haircuts while I was growing up – same(ish) great(ish) haircut, same great price!. She was the Henry Ford of haircuts, we could have any haircut we wanted as long as it was the one she did.

Here were some overheard in the barber’s chair (a stool from our kitchen) snippiets:

Mom: Oof!

Minutes later.

Mom: Wow …

Minutes later.

[Mom asking for clarification on what I want.]

Me: I don’t know. Something that looks decent?

Mom: Well I don’t know what it’ll look like.

(Swell.)

Minutes later.

Mom: Oooh. Whitewalled.

Me: Good. I’ve been wanting to look more militaristic.

***

Anywho … Thanks for the haircut ma!

De Jour of the Week (6/7/10)

6/7/2010

I just got a haircut!

Fancy New Haircut!

I tell the clerk my name and take a seat
I pick up a national geographic from 4 years ago
(The article on that African tribe is really neat)
I can’t wait for the barber to hack off this fro

Oh man, that lady cutting hair looks really angry
But that one over there is really chatty
Angry-scissor wielding, or awkward small talk for me

Guy who is practically bald – I don’t get you
15 dollars to snip at four hairs and call it a hairdo?

They called my name!? I think? Was that my name?
“Uh …” my name or not, it’s my turn just the same

“Hi, how are you, nice to see you, whaddya want,”
Ahhhh, the impeccable grace of the hair-cutting debutante

Pointing to a picture on the wall
“Like that?, but not as short …”
“K,” she says without looking at the picture on the wall
To thoughts of ‘don’t fall asleep at the wheel!’ I quickly resort

“Thick hair,” with amusement.
“Enough hair for ten people,” with amazement.
“Eh … yikes,” like I’m varmint.
“When’s the last time you got a haircut?,” with derision-ment.

Snip, snip, goodbye locks of … like
No more will I have this head that is so mop-like

Out of my daydream (I was a millionaire quarterback!)
And I get a small attack

When I said ‘like that, but not as short,’
She must’ve heard, ‘please make it shorter than short, short, short.’

“You look better with shorter hair,” she says
To the person standing over me holding scissors, I lie, “yes.”

At last! – my fancy new haircut
And my post-haircut ritual
Feel in a rut,
Grab a beanie, ball cap, newsboy hat – anything while in hair-withdrawal.

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