The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

We Can’t Keep Meeting Like This, Batman

When I was in the fourth/fifth grade I got an awesome gift.

One of those blow-up three or four feet tall punching bags with sand at the bottom. You know the ones. One of the Ninja Turtles messed around with one of them in the second Ninja Turtles movie. Go to about 5:15 in.

My air-filled punching bag had Batman on it! Awesome!

It was Batman, dressed in his costume, standing somewhere (probably on a building), and it was nighttime. And his eyes were these perfectly white rectangular slits.

When you would walk in my room at night the punching-bag looked creepy because you could see the outline of the basic shape, a little bit of the picture on the bag, and Batman’s white slits/eyes.

Not long after I received this gift I was having trouble sleeping. Not just trouble sleeping, but consistent trouble sleeping. I would wake up nearly every night and toss and turn for a while before finally being able to fall back asleep.

I decided to play a prank on myself.

I set the punching bag right beside my bed, with Batman’s face looking towards me. With any luck I would wake up, freak myself out, laugh, then go back to sleep (this is fourth grade boy logic).

It worked perfectly!

I woke up – freaked out and yelped (it is not comforting to wake up with two slits/eyes staring down over you in your bed), then pushed the bag away, having completely forgotten that I had done this to myself. Naturally, the bag goes down, then …

When the bag came back up I didn’t fight but this time backed into, slammed into, rammed into, my wall.

Then, I remembered.

Had anyone else done this prank to me I would’ve been furious.

“I couldn’t sleep at all last night! And you totally creeped me out! And you’re stupid! And blah!”

But I just laughed. And laughed. And wasn’t that funny how perfectly it worked out?

I tried doing this trick to myself a bunch of other times but I never got anywhere close to the results I had that magical night.

I guess it’s like they say, “fool me once Batman watching over me in my sleep, shame on you. Fool me twice? I’m such a weirdo.”

Comments on: "We Can’t Keep Meeting Like This, Batman – Weekly Wacko (68)" (2)

  1. Why would you ever want to punch Batman? Shame on you.

  2. I can’t believe you would play a prank on yourself. That is a crazy funny thing to do.

    I remember those punching bags. I used to like throwing them because it would be so awkward the way they’d fly through the air.

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