Heya (condescending nickname), how are you?
Listen, we really need to talk. Take a seat on that (noun).
Look, things between us have been (adjective), and it’s been wonderful. But then, last Tuesday, I was watching (movie or TV show) and it made me realize two things.
One, you look a lot like a young (B movie actor or actress).
I’m kidding. Please. Stop (synonym for crying).
But wait, I have more to (verb).
The other thing it made me realize is that, well, you aren’t (adjective) enough.
No! Wait! It’s not you!, it’s (noun)!
Honest, I wish things had gone differently.
But they didn’t, you (barn animal).
DumbFunnery 
Comments on: "Dear Jon Mad Lib" (2)
haha thank you sir! I’m going to try a few others … once I think of ideas.
That’s just genius, plain and simple.