The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.


My sister and I were talking and we agreed – for single girls, Valentine’s stinks. For guys in a relationship, Valentine’s can definitely stink. In my opinion, on Valentine’s, there are a lot of ways a guy dating someone can fail … but very few ways a girl can fail.

Try and think of a way:

  • “Darling, I made reservations for dinner and here you are at home not wearing pants!” This phrase would not be said with anger.
  • “You bought me … roses?! But you know I love tulips!” Let’s say a guy actually says this with some anger, solution: the girl wears something slinky.
  • “Aww, I’m allergic to these chocolates.” Her response: “crazy news! I’m allergic to … pants.”


So fellas, good luck finding out the magical Valentine’s formula:

Chocolates + flowers + compliments = a lady wearing no pants.

Happy Valentine’s everyone!!

Brought to you by … phoning it in, blogger style.

Comments on: "Romance" (3)

  1. I think I messed up the formula, cause I tried it on a random girl on the street and it equaled slap-face. Still another girl actually ended up with three pairs of pants on. I must double check the formula.

    • Tim, a classic mistake is giving a girl chocolates and saying “though I’m sure you already have lots” … also it’s best not to say “shake!” and then give the girl a chocolate after she shakes your hand.

  2. Finally, some math everyone can use.

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