The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘pants’

DumbFunnery @ SxSW 2012!

Yes, I went with a blog title third-person style subject for this post. Why? Because here are a few quick stories that involve me looking/acting/feeling dumb at this year’s (very fun) SxSW.


Oh, Fallulah. Here’s a song of hers.

I am a big fan of this song. It’s a lot of fun.

I saw her with my sister and Airplanes on Saturday night at Frank. She was (I’m going to use this word a lot) fun. Very high energy, happy, and just plain good. E$, Airplanes and I went upstairs to eat some food and Fallulah came on. I ran downstairs to take a few pictures and, whoops, fell in love. Ohhh she is pretty. And so much what? Fun.

After her show I used my sister’s phone(and therefore her twitter account) to write out a tweet.

“Hey Fallulah! Awesome show! Are you going to come out to take pictures? And marry my little brother?”

E$ pointed out that this made me sound crazy. FINE! I could’ve said lots of things. Frank sells hot dogs. I ate one and it was tasty. I wondered if maybe Fallulah would respond to this:

“Hey Fallulah! Great show! Want a hot dog and a green card? My little brother’s single.”

I didn’t send any of these … but eventually she came out! Whoo! We grabbed a picture but I had forgotten to turn on the flash. Our wedding photo, RUINED! Full of all the engineering charm I could muster, I leaned in close and said, “you guys were … good!” Really brain?, really? That’s honestly all I could think to say. Oof.

Nevertheless, check her out!

Dig Those Pants

This guy. Those pants. This guy with those pants. I wanted a picture of me casually by him. This is how that turned out.

He clearly noticed what I was up to. He turned and said, cool as can be, “if you want a picture with me we can do that.” I was ashamed at my lack of being able to be sneaky/lack of just going up and asking. Nevertheless, the picture happened. WHAT A STUD.


After their awesome show … a picture with the lead singer. I asked if we could do two. “One regular, and one where we’re all dinosaurs?” She said, “Of course!” Then she dinosaur’d like a champ.

(Oh and notice that Juicebox and I have hipster’d our jeans. This trend was led by Juicebox.

Well, led by the hipsters. But then by Juicebox.)


My sister and I were talking and we agreed – for single girls, Valentine’s stinks. For guys in a relationship, Valentine’s can definitely stink. In my opinion, on Valentine’s, there are a lot of ways a guy dating someone can fail … but very few ways a girl can fail.

Try and think of a way:

  • “Darling, I made reservations for dinner and here you are at home not wearing pants!” This phrase would not be said with anger.
  • “You bought me … roses?! But you know I love tulips!” Let’s say a guy actually says this with some anger, solution: the girl wears something slinky.
  • “Aww, I’m allergic to these chocolates.” Her response: “crazy news! I’m allergic to … pants.”


So fellas, good luck finding out the magical Valentine’s formula:

Chocolates + flowers + compliments = a lady wearing no pants.

Happy Valentine’s everyone!!

Brought to you by … phoning it in, blogger style.

Bad Jokes Quick Hits

First of all I’d like for you to apologize to those pants for subjecting them to looking that bad. That’s what that ass said to me.
Get it?

I decided to watch the next Westminster Dog Show while listening to Jay-Z’s “99 Problems.”
Because the song has a b-word … and that’s why it’s funny.

She and I wanted to start using more words. I liked her so I took this as an opportunity. I told her if she was an angle she’d be “acute.” She told me I could’ve made a move long ago but I’m so “obtuse.” I told her I’m not fat and I ran away. Greater than 90 degrees? What a jerk.

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