The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Son: Guess what! I’m in a band!
Dad: Good for you!
Mom: My cool son!
Dad: So what kind of music is it?
Son: It’s a world beat kind of thing with a lot of South American music … I play the keyboard and –
Mom: Honey …
Son: Yeah?
Mom: Dear … It’s ok, we’ve known since you were young. Frankly we were wondering when you’d tell us. You didn’t have to invent this keyboardist story.
Son: What?
Dad: Yes, we love you! We’re more progressive than you give us credit for.
Son: What are you guys talking about!?
Dad: Well … That you’re gay …
Son: WHAT!?
Mom: Isn’t keyboardist code for gay?
Son: No! I’m a keyboardist in a band – if anything women will be throwing themselves at me!
Mom: Yeah, for fashion advice.
Son: Oh shut UP!
Dad: Son!!! You DO NOT tell your mother to shut up!
Son: I’m sorry, that was really … It’s just, seriously, I’m not gay and this is very upsetting …
Dad: Oh wait – I just realized – on the shows with gay people they tell women to shut up, and much worse, and they just laugh … I guess that’s part of the deal with being gay.
Mom: Oh honey, you want to take me shopping?
Son: This is awful. I am so angry at you guys. I’m going to hang out with my band.
Mom: Ok sweety, have fun with your “band”! Maybe we can meet him some day?
Son: Aggfhhhhhh!!!

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