The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

On Monday I’ll be back at work and it will be as exciting as ever. Productivity should be slow in the morning because of the post-vacation catch-up chit chat.

Here are some simple do’s and do not’s for all you socially inept folks out there.

Do:

Co-worker: Hey, how was your Thanksgiving?
You: It was great! Good food, saw family, slept lots! (Fake laugh!)

Don’t:

Co-worker: Hey, how was your Thanksgiving?
You: I rode my bicycle through an Indian Reservation and screamed happy Thanksgiving.
Co-worker: That … Um …

Do:

Co-worker: I clearly ate too much pumpkin pie over Thanksgiving! (Fake laugh!)
You: Tell me about it! We should be allowed to wear sweatpants to work the week after Thanksgiving! (Fake laugh!)

Don’t:

Co-worker: I clearly ate too much pumpkin pie over Thanksgiving! (Fake laugh!)
You: Yeah … It was just Thanksgiving that did you in …

Do:

You: Oh hey, how was your Thanksgiving?
Co-worker: (Long-winded stories.)

Don’t:

You: Oh God, are you serious? I know you’re about to tell me the EXACT SAME stories you JUST told the guy who sits next to me! You really think I want to listen to that again?
Co-worker: …

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