Hey folks, how are we all doing tonight? Good?
Ok, ok …
So listen, a few months ago, before I was born, I remember saying, “hey, lady, mother figure, am I right?, I’m like, hey, can’t a guy get a little more WOMB in here?”
No, but seriously, that place she had me staying was awful. It was cramped. It was warm. The food was like paste. It reminds me of a hotel where I stayed in JERSEY. OHHHH. Just kidding, just kidding, New Jersey’s great, I’ve got family out there.
I hope they STAY there!
Heyyyy! Come on! We’re all friends here, ok? Ok.
Anyway back when I was still in the womb, the hotel womb, right, so I would practice my set. Practice, practice, practice, right? But here’s the thing – management there was tough. I remember I started, day 1, and all I did was WORK. You know my first water break was NINE MONTHS into the job.
I’m kidding of course. I loved it there.
So uh … Tough crowd … This room’s gonna need a diaper change.
(Drops mic, exits stage via someone coming out and picking him up and carrying him off)