The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Jokes from Doug

A while back my girlfriend and I ate at a small, simple restaurant. The place didn’t seem like it was going to be much – but it was the exact kind of restaurant you’d see in a movie set in a small town. The people who worked there were all nice, the food was amazing, and there was an old man with a guitar who played there on Friday nights for everyone’s amusement.

The man’s name was Doug. He sang songs like Mr. Bojangles. He seemed like an old west/Texas traveling musician who (based on his playing there) had never hit it big but still loved the life of music. I lack the words to describe him, but he seemed like he belonged in a painting rather than real life.

As if the sight of him and his musical talents weren’t enough, he told dorky little jokes between songs. Of course he did. To illustrate the small town movie feeling, this was an exchange he had with a waitress:

“(To waitress) Hey Emily, Where’s Scott?”
“He fell in love with a girl and moved to Austin.”

Now for the rest of Doug’s lovely jokes.

Got a quick costume change … (Switches guitars)

This next song was requested. Not tonight, or last night, but about 5 months ago when I was in Oklahoma.

I went to a workshop on how to write songs. The first thing they told you was the song had to be about something. (Sort of scoffs.) so this next song is about 3 minutes.

They like me playing here because I don’t take breaks. I fidget too much when I take a break and I want to smoke. I gave up smoking … About 7 years ago now. It was March of 2006. I gave up smoking and yodeling for Lent … I haven’t been able to stay away from yodeling. (He yodelled in that song and it was very good.)

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