The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Doctor’s Last Day

Nurse: Doctor! He’s waking up from his coma!
Patient: …Huh? Wha?
Doctor: Young man, welcome back.
Patient: Uh … What?
Doctor: You were in a coma. For two. Hundred. Years.
Patient: WHAT!?
Doctor: Nah, just kidding, like 3 weeks.

 

As we all know, the Hippocratic oath is designed to keep doctors from being a-holes, and instead having them focus on helping us. Also their medical training is part of that purpose too. But don’t you think, on their last day of work, all doctors would like to have a little fun?

 

Doctor: Now, what brings you here today Miss Johnson?
Patient: It hurts right here. Like when I push.
Doctor: Ok, let me see. Does this hurt?
Patient: No.
Doctor: This?
Patient: No.
Doctor: This? Oh … wait, hmmm.
Patient: What?
Doctor: This is … interesting. Have you ever had a kidney stone?
Patient: No? I don’t think so?
Doctor: This is … incredible. You have had so many kidney stones that … It feels … Yes, it feels as though they’ve grown together into one giant thing, essentially giving you another bone.
Patient: … THAT CAN HAPPEN?
Doctor: Eh, probably not. You’ve just got rock hard abs, buddy.

 

Of the countless well-regarded doctors who read my blog for information both professional and personal, do you have any stories that are just like this? Please leave them in the comments!

 

Doctor: How are you enjoying those pancakes?
Patient: … Uh … You mean … This soup?
Doctor: … Nurse?
Nurse: Yes doctor?
Doctor: (Whispers)
Patient: … What’s going on? This … is … soup.
Doctor: (Heavy sigh.)

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