The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Attn: Ellen (5/20/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I think if an alien came to Earth and asked for one representative for an intergalactic skills competition I would pick an Olympic gymnast OR a dead guy. The gymnast because they’re so tiny and flexible and fit. The dead guy because, while I don’t know this imaginary alien, I feel like he’d respect the bold choice and share a chuckle with me.

Who would you send?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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