The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Indulgence 5000

Stressed out? Overworked? Need a break? Due for some relaxation? Overwhelmed by life?

Try relaxing to the maxing with the INDULGENCE 5000!

This new model comes with:

  • PS4 or Xbox 1
    • Comes with one controller and one game of your choice (not to exceed 60 dollars)
  • Exceedingly comfortable chair
    • Warning: You may never want to move again
  • Feed bag allowing you to do things (like playing video games) while eating, pre-stocked with a milkshake version of the number 10 at Taco Bell
  • Drink tube, full of Mountain Dew, with shoulder harness
  • 10 pack of adult diapers
  • 10 pack of XL wet wipes
  • When purchasing the Indulgence 5000, record several voicemails, these will be delivered to your mom’s phone once every three days
    • Prevents the family from knowing you have embraced the state of a wallowing farm animal

 

Don’t hesitate. Get the INDULGENCE 5000 … TODAY!

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