DumbFunnery

March 1 (Wednesday)
More Game of Thrones watched
That show’s just abusive
Oh you like him? DEAD.

March 2 (Thursday)
Toastmasters meeting
I do meeting minutes now
My style? Verbose.

March 3 (Friday)
Hosted a meeting
Video then discussion
…Engineers all bolt

March 4 (Saturday)
‘Hey kids, IKEA?’
Said the world’s number one dad
In terms of cruelty

March 5 (Sunday)
Went out for a hike
I hoped to spot some eagles
AM I A BIRDER!?

March 6 (Monday)
Sent a mass email
‘This thing is wrong! Needs fixing!’
Oh … Shoot. Nope. I’m dumb.

March 7 (Tuesday)
Kid sees me, jogs too
But, come on kid!, I’m faster!
(Than most five year olds)

March 8 (Wednesday)
Intern interview:
‘Describe garbage collection’
‘Put the bin out?’ HIRED!

March 9 (Thursday)
Work then a late flight
Flying to Minnesota
Seeing fam, and breath

March 10 (Friday)
A day with wife’s fam
Surrounded by love, and snacks
And wise-cracking folk

March 11 (Saturday)
Second eulogy
My wife delivered with grace
Tears and hugs for all

March 12 (Sunday)
Delayed at airport
We’ll miss the kennel window
Won’t get dog til late

March 13 (Monday)
My skin is so dry
I hear empty cup straw-sucking
When lotion’s applied

March 14 (Tuesday)
Doing UX code
“That buttons too button-y”
Ah the squishy stuff

March 15 (Wednesday)
If your arms are ‘guns’
Then are your legs artillery?
Gym rats – please advise

March 16 (Thursday)
March Madness is here!
From basketball atheist
To crazed fanatic

March 17 (Friday)
Can I call in sick
During the SMU game
Then come back to work?

March 18 (Saturday)
Three hour trail jog
Wife got me chocolate milk
Eyes on the prize, self

March 19 (Sunday)
March Madness DRAMA!
This game is heating up! It’s …
Whoops. Dozed off again.

March 20 (Monday)
Felt sick yesterday
Worse today. Know what that means??
9 pm bedtime!

March 21 (Tuesday)
Feel ok, sound bad
I’m the coworker I hate
“Dude! You’re sick! GO HOME!”

March 22 (Wednesday)
Oh hi indie films
A romantic comedy
SHOULDN’T BE SO SAD

March 23 (Thursday)
Senate vote allows
Anything you do online
To be watched and sold

March 24 (Friday)
Making risky jokes
While trying to make new friends
I’m adventurous

March 25 (Saturday)
Cough lingered enough
To justify no long jog
Hellooooooooo non-movement!

March 26 (Sunday)
Iron Fist is eh
But it is better than my
Boring to do list

March 27 (Monday)
Back to working out
Cold sidelined me for a week
Lovely, lazy week

March 28 (Tuesday)
Don’t eat your feelings
Those deep fried, sugar coated,
Tasty, tasty feels

March 29 (Wednesday)
When Tiffany Trump
Gets a book deal in 10 years
What fun that’ll be!

March 30 (Thursday)
Another speech done!
Toastmasters world champ? Not quite.
Champ of this couch? Yep.

March 31 (Friday)
Long day of thinking
Now time to undo all that
With video games

Follow me @DumbFunnery for the daily haiku and probably other tweets you don’t particularly care about.