The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

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Trip Tips From Your Pals at DumbFunnery

Hello friends, the travel season is upon us! (It is?) (Yeah, whatever, it doesn’t matter.) (Oh, ok.) And with travel season, we need some travel tips!
When you are going somewhere, it’s natural to have goals or plans in mind. Maybe you (Wait really? Why don’t people just go and … I don’t know, experience things and
let things happen as they may.) …As I said, SOME people like to have goals or plans (you didn’t say some people before) (Oh … whatever) SOME people like to have
plans in their mind and sometimes those plans don’t work out. (Yeah, which is why you should just – ) (SHUSH.) (You think that’ll quiet me?)
Here’s what we at DumbFunnery recommend (Why do you keep pretending there are multiple authors?) (If there aren’t multiple authors, that means I’m just talking to myself
in parenthesis while I write something) ( …True).
All of the friendly staff here at DumbFunnery (STAFF? Oh come on) recommend two travel plans where you might ordinarily have one.
Have the day planned where you get to do the things you want (This is so dull), AND one where you don’t get to accomplish anything you want.
I call it the optimistic and the pessimistic plans.
For the optimistic plan you might go to a zoo, a museum, and a specific place for lunch. (Oh sweet, where are we going for lunch?)
For the pessimistic plan the zoo is closed, there’s a trip from the school of the aggressively bad smelling that has just descended on the museum, and the restaurant was
recently turned into an ironic night club that only serves cold ketchup and warm vodka. (Blech.) The reason for the pessimistic plan is to force you to think
of things you’ll enjoy even if everything goes awry. (Oh … That’s not a bad idea actually.) (Shut it, we’re losing credibility by agreeing with ourselves.)
Maybe for the pessimistic plan you force yourself to compare the architecture of the city to your own home, maybe you pay attention to the people and make a bingo game
where the free block is an old man who is leering too much. (There’s something kind of off about you.) (Hey friend, don’t be mean.)
The sky is the limit! But the point is, even when you don’t hit all of your marks, you’re still on a trip – so ENJOY!
Thank you kindly from all of us here at DumbFunnery.com, where our destination … (Don’t do it) is always FUN!

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Here’s the Thing

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The lady of the house and I chit chatted a bit after visiting some friends. They had hanging on their walls some neat things they had drawn and I thought, “hey, I could do that too!” I saw this cartoon online and was inspired – I’ll draw the same! Perfecto. It’s a pun, it’s dorky, and it is not too shabby a drawing!

The problem is, this is the limit of my skill set. Another drawing I wanted to do was a bear on his hind legs with a hand over his face, and under it’ll just say ‘unbearable.’ Dorky, I know, but that’s the idea. I spent some time trying to draw a bear and …

Now I’m trying to think of dorky puns that can be jokes in the form of a drawing, and they have to be simple at that. A tall order, my friends.

If you’ve got an idea, please feel free to share it with me!

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Deep Thoughts About Bad Movies

I really enjoy bad movies. A lot of movies, even good ones, are predictable, but bad movies take that predictability and add to it an element of surprise … making them a little unpredictable. A movie that is bad enough won’t follow that same tired trope, because that would be a logical plot that wouldn’t have plot holes. No, a bad movie doesn’t care about plot holes, doesn’t care about ridiculous chance encounters that are there just for one bad joke.

And, with bad movies, I don’t mind paying minimal attention to the movie. I’m confident I’m not going to miss out on anything.

Bad movies are great.

One thing I like about bad movies is the actors themselves. I have all kinds of questions for those people. Were you aware of this movie being this bad while you made it? Were you excited nevertheless? What age range makes you angry to be in a bad movie? For young actors and actresses, they are probably excited to be in a movie, bad or not, and they think THIS, THIS is what will get me noticed for a GOOD movie. Older actors and actresses might think, sweet heavenly goodness, PAYDAY! Unless they are older and used to be in productions that were good. But lets say someone has been in a few bad movies and now they find themselves in another one, they’re still young but … reality is beginning to set in. What an angry cast mate that person would be, huh? And which character is the angriest? Is it the dorky guy as comic relief? Is it the heroine, the hero? The antagonist?

Which scene was most painful to film?

I know it’s a cruel thing to enjoy, wondering at someone’s hopes and dreams and sadness and anger while portraying some predictable character … but I root for all those people. Sometimes, if I’m really bored, I’ll even look for interviews of those people on shows or to see if they’ve made it to anything nicer.

Here’s to you, bad movie stars.

Kick back on this Labor Day, and enjoy a bad movie (or two) while cooking up some grub!

 

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