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Archive for the ‘Du Jour of the Week’ Category

Call Signs that Mean Something is About to Go Down

Let’s say you’re out and about, and it’s near a holiday, and you overhear someone say something on a phone, or radio, or … any other device that I can’t think of. Something about it doesn’t seem right – the tone of voice, something in the air isn’t right, or maybe … maybe it’s a really dorky phrase.

Here are just five of the many possible bad joke call signs/code phrases that let you know something is about to go down.

“This is Roundhouse … Things are kicking off.”

“This is bull, I’m at the China shop.”

“Papa Smurf, this is Azrael, I’m on the prowl.”

“One checking in …”
“Two checking in …”
“Three checking in …”
“Four checking in …”
“Sounds like we’re ready to rock.”

“This is sugar, I’m at the spice factory, commencing operation ‘make nice.'”

All’s Whale That Ends Whale

Coming this fall prepare yourself for the latest cheap capitalization on a family name with Captain Ahab, Ishmael and the gang. Joseph H. Melville, great great grandson of Herman Melville, will take you on a brand new adventure with some familiar faces in All’s Whale That Ends Whale.

Was the white whale that Captain Ahab saw actually just a large human body floating in the ocean a ways away? And was that human body murdered? And say, didn’t that one shipmate say he used to work as a detective?

Who’s this lovely lady who is a ship inspector? Can Ahab charm her away from the unsafe practices on his ship … and into his arms?

Is the crew extra mutinous today, or is that a case of the fabled vampire scurvy, scurvy that causes vampire-like tendencies to develop?

And what’s that over the ocean, a space ship! … from OUTER SPACE?

Find out all of this, AND MORE, in All’s Whale That Ends Whale!

Let’s Consult the Moon and Stars

Saturday night I was hanging out with family when my wife looked up some family horoscopes. Some of the group believe horoscopes can be pretty spot on (when you do the more specific set involving the sun and moon) and others did not quite buy into this (myself included).

My wife read mine: sun sign leo and moon sign gemini (just call me the high-flyin’ lion), and it got some laughs due to some accuracies. Particularly the first bits: “His illumination: quick wit, his dark side: child like.” A dark side as being child like? Pfft. But, I suppose, if you ask someone who is attempting to have a serious conversation with me while I am attempting to not laugh because it sounds like they might have a bubble in their throat … I suppose childlike is not the best.

In my opinion, like most horoscope-related things, some of the things this has to say about me are right … others, not so much.

Anywho, here I am (from the following site):

Leo Sun Gemini Moon (for guys)

“His Illumination: Quick wit.

His dark side: Child like.

This guy has got to be a salesman. He is in, perhaps, radio sales. Whatever his profession is, he uses his words to trade. I don’t know for sure, but I bet he talks in his sleep. Quick witted, restless, intelligent, light hearted–these men are ever so enchanting. You can usually find them in some sort of a class or another. The Moon position creates a perpetual student. While physically active, and sports minded, he finds a good book fascinating too. He won’t read a book, though, unless he is learning something or doing it for the children. He has friends all over the place, and of every type. He hates schedules and is on them only for appointments he considers important. The restless nature of the Moon demands variety in life: job changes, residence changes, and often changes of the woman in his life. It takes a bit of a whirlwind to keep up with him, at any rate. Leo wants a family life, Gemini doesn’t, so there will always be some conflict over his domestic needs. Maybe just a nice place and a wife he can drop in on from time to time. He’s going to be hard to figure because he is restless and honestly isn’t sure what he wants. Maybe, if you don’t try to tie him down, you can keep him around. There is a brief, curious fascination with almost every woman he meets. The longer infatuations come with someone he can relate to, the lifelong infatuations are a rare combination of a number of things like the ability to let him play, be a child, to express his ego, to flirt, for you to be intelligent, and beautiful (Leo knows beauty.) This is the sort of stuff that calls for a superwoman. I really can’t say who does the best with this one. Perhaps an Aquarius, for sure a Gemini, or a girl with a nice child like Leo Moon. Don’t enable him to be a child. Be one with him.”

(Taken from The Book of Lovers by Carolyn Reynolds.)