The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘calvin and hobbes’

Wedding Vows

My wife and I decided sometime after getting engaged that we would write our own vows. I’ll admit, I felt overly confident about this. I thought, ‘I can knock this out of the park – it’ll be great.’ In reality? Eh.

Our officiant was a friend of my wife’s family, a good friend and neighbor of her grandparents. We met with him and told him about our plan to write our own vows. He was enthusiastic about this (and everything, really – he was a ton of fun to have as an officiant and gave very beautiful remarks at the wedding). He suggested that we email him our vows once we wrote them, and he could provide feedback if we wanted.

The idea was to have short vows – four or five bullet type items rather than a long speech, or a paragraph for each point. Yes, your wedding day is all about you … but P.S., there are a ton of people there waiting to drink, eat, and dance so uh … keep it snappy.

I sat down, thought about it, and poof, wrote down some vows. I sent them off to our officiant and went merrily along … until his reply. It went something along the lines of, “hmmm, these are good … but keep thinking.” That’s a kind way of saying: nope.

I asked my wife if she had emailed him, she said yes. Then I asked what kind of response she got, and she said that he liked them. Huh.

My vows must really stink. I asked my wife what she was thinking for the vows and she said, “oh something simple, and nice. Just not something cliché and cheesy like <and THEN! And then she said pretty much exactly what my initial batch of vows were. Brutal.>”

Clearly it was time to go back to the drawing board. I wrote a new set of vows that were ok. They were no longer cliché, but they weren’t good. It was my backup plan. I didn’t bother sending them to the officiant because I knew they were just ok. I thought the best plan would be to let all of this ruminate.

I don’t like to be rushed when it comes to creative genius (though I do like to oversell my abilities by saying phrases like ‘creative genius’). I was looking for real inspiration, like Calvin would.


It’s a Wednesday, the wedding is on Saturday, and I’m out for a jog. I’m listening to Wild Child, and one of the lyrics rumbles and tumbles through my brain like a wand just cast a spell on me. Suddenly the vows spill out of my brain and the only struggle was jogging home repeating them, over and over, over and over, so I wouldn’t forget them. Having already packed most everything in my apartment and moved it to my wife’s apartment, the only paper I had at home was a bit of junk mail to write the vows on.

After the wedding our officiant commented on my choice of paper that I pulled out of the inner pocket of my jacket, it was a neon green colored slip, but my wife liked the vows, so I guess it worked out ok.

(We just had our third wedding anniversary. Congrats to us!)

Grey’s Anatomy, and You

Earlier today I took a quiz, “Can you name every Grey’s Anatomy doctor?”

This got me thinking, am I spending my free time intelligently? Aren’t there countless projects I would like to work on? Aren’t there also a lot of projects I don’t want to work on but they need to get done anyway? Have I ever even watched more than one episode of Grey’s Anatomy?  Why do I ignore, so often, what are far better uses of my time?

I decided to take one more quiz to clear my head. This one is, “Do you know the rules of Calvinball?”

Ok, just finished that quiz and I also failed. This is absurd though. I have read EVERY single Calvin and Hobbes comic! Did this guy just make up random rules to be in line with Calvin? That wouldn’t surprise me. That’d be pretty clever actually.

Here’s what I’ll do: I’ll re-read every Calvin and Hobbes and then resume self-reflection for self-improvement and then I’ll mow the lawn.

Happy (Belated) Mother’s Day!

Hello to all you mothers out there! I hope you had a lovely day, and that you will have a fantastic rest of the year.

For those mothers who went into motherhood knowing what to expect as far as how crazy little kids are … you’re nuts. For those mothers who went into motherhood somewhat blind and have been trying to recover while raising a good family, kudos.

When I was very little I was crazy about GI Joes (they’re still really cool). GI Joes themselves were obviously cool. The cartoon I watched about GI Joes was cool. Even commercials for GI Joes were cool! My brother’s GI Joe comic books? I never read them, but had I done that, undoubtedly cool.

It’s no surprise, then, that I wanted to create a cool atmosphere for playing with the GI Joes.

In some toy commercials the toys are shown outside in swampy areas, or in a lake, or in some woods. Well, what if you can’t play outside at that moment? You bring the woods and lake inside, DUH!

My mom, when she discovered the mess I had deliberately made, was not on board with the idea. She probably was a bit confused.

So, let’s hear it for the moms, who may sometimes think they are surrounded by tricksters … but really, we’re just goons. Calvin, take it away.

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