The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘daily haiku’

April Haiku

April 1 (Saturday)
Max Colorado:
Making some granola bars
For Sunday trail jog

April 2 (Sunday)
Sunday errands done
Time to kick back, relax, and
Try hard not to nap

April 3 (Monday)
Bball done this year.
Oh yeah, there’s the NBA.
Eh. Basketball’s done.

April 4 (Tuesday)
Are the masters soon?
The whispering, the soft clap
The greatest nap track

April 5 (Wednesday)
Days of frustration
Before learning easy fix
Code drives me batty

April 6 (Thursday)
Wife hosting book club
I come downstairs to say hi,
Envy the snack tray

April 7 (Friday)
Friday night hijinks
Bingo hall with some buddies
My wife won a game!!

April 8 (Saturday)
Spotted on trail jog:
Friendly hikers, deer, llamas.
One of those … seems odd.

April 9 (Sunday)
Sunday starts with a …
Whimper? Some soft crying sounds?
Hurting from my jog

April 10 (Monday)
Canadian geese
Aren’t they supposed to migrate?
Ones here just loiter

April 11 (Tuesday)
Ran with a backpack on
Not only looked like a dork
But felt like one too

April 12 (Wednesday)
Work dinner tonight
Spouses are invited too
Fingers crossed they’re weird

April 13 (Thursday)
Friendos, life is good:
Frosted animal crackers,
And a glass of milk

April 14 (Friday)
Left work feeling good
Leaving like that on Fridays?
It’s hard to beat that

April 15 (Saturday)
Nearly done with jog
Misstep and roll my ankle
<This line censored out>

April 16 (Sunday)
Happy Easter, all
Big day for adults (message)
And for kids (candy)

April 17 (Monday)
Traffic reporters
Laughs while traffic pains described
Ah, schaudenfreude

April 18 (Tuesday)
Duolingo fun
Still trying to learn German
King of weird phrases

#IAmNotAPotato #IchNichtEinKartoffel

April 19 (Wednesday)
MY WIFE IS PREGNANT
Other stuff’s happening too …
But who cares? PREGNANT!

April 20 (Thursday)
National pot day
Time to get out there, potheads!
And then sit around!

April 21 (Friday)
Some friends visiting
Calls for RMNP trip
Seeing ALL the elk!!

April 22 (Saturday)
Hike to start the day
Eerie mist on the way up
Clear skies coming down

April 23 (Sunday)
Friends depart today
Quiet house, bloated belly
(We ate out a lot)

April 24 (Monday)
Social weekend done
Wonderful to hang out, now:
Hermit mode engaged

April 25 (Tuesday)
Life’s comprised of countdowns
Kid: summer break, Christmas, birthday
Now: three day weekends

April 26 (Wednesday)
“ECHOOOOO” she yelled out
Sass Canyon replied slowly
“Unnn-or-ig-in-allllll”

April 27 (Thursday)
Dog’s extra needy
Like a tiny, four-legged,
Smell making machine

April 28 (Friday)
Sometimes I wonder
Is a haiku too succinct
To allow me to

April 29 (Saturday)
It is impressive
How little I can get done
It just takes effort

April 30 (Sunday)
Snow is melting now
But, snow, please hang out some more
I don’t want to mow

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March Haiku

March 1 (Wednesday)
More Game of Thrones watched
That show’s just abusive
Oh you like him? DEAD.

March 2 (Thursday)
Toastmasters meeting
I do meeting minutes now
My style? Verbose.

March 3 (Friday)
Hosted a meeting
Video then discussion
…Engineers all bolt

March 4 (Saturday)
‘Hey kids, IKEA?’
Said the world’s number one dad
In terms of cruelty

March 5 (Sunday)
Went out for a hike
I hoped to spot some eagles
AM I A BIRDER!?

March 6 (Monday)
Sent a mass email
‘This thing is wrong! Needs fixing!’
Oh … Shoot. Nope. I’m dumb.

March 7 (Tuesday)
Kid sees me, jogs too
But, come on kid!, I’m faster!
(Than most five year olds)

March 8 (Wednesday)
Intern interview:
‘Describe garbage collection’
‘Put the bin out?’ HIRED!

March 9 (Thursday)
Work then a late flight
Flying to Minnesota
Seeing fam, and breath

March 10 (Friday)
A day with wife’s fam
Surrounded by love, and snacks
And wise-cracking folk

March 11 (Saturday)
Second eulogy
My wife delivered with grace
Tears and hugs for all

March 12 (Sunday)
Delayed at airport
We’ll miss the kennel window
Won’t get dog til late

March 13 (Monday)
My skin is so dry
I hear empty cup straw-sucking
When lotion’s applied

March 14 (Tuesday)
Doing UX code
“That buttons too button-y”
Ah the squishy stuff

March 15 (Wednesday)
If your arms are ‘guns’
Then are your legs artillery?
Gym rats – please advise

March 16 (Thursday)
March Madness is here!
From basketball atheist
To crazed fanatic

March 17 (Friday)
Can I call in sick
During the SMU game
Then come back to work?

March 18 (Saturday)
Three hour trail jog
Wife got me chocolate milk
Eyes on the prize, self

March 19 (Sunday)
March Madness DRAMA!
This game is heating up! It’s …
Whoops. Dozed off again.

March 20 (Monday)
Felt sick yesterday
Worse today. Know what that means??
9 pm bedtime!

March 21 (Tuesday)
Feel ok, sound bad
I’m the coworker I hate
“Dude! You’re sick! GO HOME!”

March 22 (Wednesday)
Oh hi indie films
A romantic comedy
SHOULDN’T BE SO SAD

March 23 (Thursday)
Senate vote allows
Anything you do online
To be watched and sold

March 24 (Friday)
Making risky jokes
While trying to make new friends
I’m adventurous

March 25 (Saturday)
Cough lingered enough
To justify no long jog
Hellooooooooo non-movement!

March 26 (Sunday)
Iron Fist is eh
But it is better than my
Boring to do list

March 27 (Monday)
Back to working out
Cold sidelined me for a week
Lovely, lazy week

March 28 (Tuesday)
Don’t eat your feelings
Those deep fried, sugar coated,
Tasty, tasty feels

March 29 (Wednesday)
When Tiffany Trump
Gets a book deal in 10 years
What fun that’ll be!

March 30 (Thursday)
Another speech done!
Toastmasters world champ? Not quite.
Champ of this couch? Yep.

March 31 (Friday)
Long day of thinking
Now time to undo all that
With video games

Follow me @DumbFunnery for the daily haiku and probably other tweets you don’t particularly care about.

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February Haiku

February 1
Started Game of Thrones
Cause when reality bites
Watch depressing shows?

February 2
Toastmasters today
Only five braved icy roads
To meet … for coffee

February 3
Do I feel ennui?
Do I face a lack of LIFE!?
No, wait, I’m gassy

February 4
Wife’s birthday today!
I got her a card, necklace,
And picked on her less

February 5
Football season done
What will I do with more time!
Eh, nothing of worth

February 6
His body weakened
Fear shown plainly on his face
(Blood drawn – I’m a wuss)

February 7
I make brash, bold claims
Then support with “evidence”
And end with grace. SAD!

February 8
Guy slams his stall door
Which jars my stall door open …
Fear waddle mode: on

February 9
Basement workout: done!
Lifting weights and breathing
That sweet, sweet radon

February 10
Goodbye lunch today
And he gave us all thank you notes!
Such a kind person

February 11
Nine mile trail jog
Followed by sitting around
For twelve hours – impressed?

February 12
Wife back from a trip
And she brought blue bell ice cream
This, my friends, is love

February 13
SAFe Scrum Master test
(It was as cool as it sounds)
(And I’m pleased I passed!)

February 14
Happy Valentine’s!
Whether single or paired up,
You should buy me stuff

February 15
Step 1: lots of dishes
Step 2: headphones, and Step 3:
Caravan Palace

February 16
Warm days in winter
(Just ignore climate science)
And soak up that sun!

#itsReallyNiceOut
#conflicted

February 17
Picnic with the wife
Chicken salad and chatter
Hard to beat that lunch!

February 18
10 mile trail jog
Building up trail tolerance
Then eating with glee

February 19
Swedish TERROR NIGHT
Don Trump ate some Swedish fish
Got stuck in his teeth

February 20
Thanks past presidents!
Pained noise and curt nod to our
Current president

February 21
My watch buzzes – “Move!”
Watch, like I want to move and –
Oh, my coffee’s low!

February 22
Today: t-shirt on
Tomorrow: snow’s predicted
Weather, you crazy

February 23
Freezing rain outside
Weather like this justifies
Coffee with Swiss Miss

February 24
The cool air greets me
Snow flakes fall in slow motion
Snow globe kind of day

February 25
Friend’s birthday dinner
Beer plus small social life means
I’m VERY chatty

February 26
Wake up and decide
Jog with temps in the high teens?
Or go get doughnuts …

February 27 (Monday)
Intern interview
My questions were ‘easiest’
“How goes!?” can be tough?

February 28 (Tuesday)
Writing four days late
…Nothing of note comes to mind
That’s just depressing

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