The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Du Jour of the Week’

De Jour of the Week (11/2/09)

11/2/09

Ouch.

It took her a very long time to convince her husband to get the vasectomy. He was obstinate. He would give no reason sometimes, and other times when she would bring it up he would reach, trying to say anything to guilt her into not bringing up the topic. Her favorite excuse was one time when she was bringing it up somewhat subtly, he realized what she was about to start talking about – he cut her off and said, “good God – you’re going to bring this up tonight? The Charlie Brown Christmas special is going to be on!” She had to hand it to him, that threw her off.

Nevertheless, after a year of patient, skillful, (let’s face it) nagging, she had won him over. She had talked to doctors without him and found out everything there is to know about the procedure. She had promised dinners made entirely of steak and cake, and other promises we won’t get into.

He had consented.

They visited the best doctor in the state. He was prepped, physically, and mentally. The doctor was prepped. The earthquake was, well, unfortunate.

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

Tagged with:

De Jour of the Week (11/9/09)

11/9/09

After writing this I took a nap.

An Ode to Naps

It’s Sunday and I’ve just eaten

My team just played, and were badly beaten.

I think you know what I’m getting at –

It’s time to take the example of my sage cat.

A yawn, a stretch, and a sleepy grin,

On my couch I’m nicely tucked in.

I close my eyes and I’m in another place

My thoughts slow to a crawling pace.

That food I ate was heavy, just like my eyes,

And then I’m asleep, which should be no surpri-zzzzz …

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

Tagged with:

De Jour of the Week (10/27/09)

10/27/09

Wrote this during lunch break at work. I had a taco salad today.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles are for Cries, Wails, and Ear-Splitting Squeals

Don’t sit there, don’t sit there, don’t sit there!
… You sat there.
My teeth smile, but my eyes glare
A cold. Unforgiving. Harsh. Glare.
Why the malicious stare?

A woman, with her child
Whose disposition one could never, ever, call mild
Has just set this child
This thing easily-riled
This thing that is so wild,
This thing that looks so out of contriled,

On a seat next to me.
Said creature looks around to see
But all I see
All I need to see
All I see, even with lids closed and mind shut and eyes looking way out over that way and music blasting me

Is that decibel producing,
Drool profusing,
Bathroom conducing,
Smelly child (and that smell can be quit nausea inducing.)

And now my plane, train or automobile ride
Is a showcase for a crying, wailing or squealing THING at my side

And, worry not, that’s not all –
Bottles, bags, wipes, snacks, blankets, diapers, clothes, toys, et. al,
My space is invaded by this mobile mall

Mothers! Fathers! Take note of this wordy complaint!
I’m happy to sit by you if you realize while your child is cute, – it’s no saint

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

Tagged with: