The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘nap’

Attn: Ellen (12/21/11)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Happy Holidays to you and your staff.

I hope they are full of naps, sweets, laughs and other beautiful things.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Animal Facts! (Lory, Nubian Ibex, Fossa, Butterfly…ish)

Lory

Make spinach and artichoke dip whenever ‘Braveheart’ is on. They call it, ‘Spinach and Brave-Heartichoke dip.’

Ha ha ha ha ha. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?? HA!

Legs that go for … hours. Zing!

Oh my GOD! I totally just remembered he went out with Becky in fifth grade!

Owe thousands in back taxes.

Bonus Fact!: CRAPPED ON ME!

Nubian Ibex

Is simply maaaaahvelous!

Deliberately says “tapas” in a fuzzy way so you can’t tell if he said tapas or topless.

If he was a book, he’d be in the “Clearance Sale” section.

Wears a t-shirt that says, “Weather is here, wish you were beautiful” at least once a week.

Gets off at 5 today, and then … who knows! (Probably a nap.)

Fossa

Love to play on the word ‘bro.’ Like before going out you’ll likely hear, ‘and away we bro!’ If they get a pep talk, instead of a simple ‘thanks’ it’ll be, ‘dude, you’re my wonder bro.’ Get it? Like a wonder bra. But it’s bro.

“In mine country, mine papa … he would catch the fish! And in mine country! Mine brother, the second one! He would …” (Ugh. Coolest accent. Worst storyteller.)

Loves pistachios almost as much as he hates minorities.

God’s gift to gab.

When he eats chocolate he says “GOD-iva!” He says the ‘God’ part like he’s in the throws of passion. It’d be funny but he’s never actually eaten Godiva chocolate.

Butterfly…ish

Own a cowboy hat with glitter on it.

Lies like a Swedish politician.

Sweats. A lot. It’s adorable. If you’re into sweat.

Uses the word boob as a noun, adjective and verb.

Knows things, maaaaan.

Bonus Fact!: I was trying to take a picture of a butterfly in the butterfly exhibit when this lady’s leg got in the way.

De Jour of the Week (11/9/09)

11/9/09

After writing this I took a nap.

An Ode to Naps

It’s Sunday and I’ve just eaten

My team just played, and were badly beaten.

I think you know what I’m getting at –

It’s time to take the example of my sage cat.

A yawn, a stretch, and a sleepy grin,

On my couch I’m nicely tucked in.

I close my eyes and I’m in another place

My thoughts slow to a crawling pace.

That food I ate was heavy, just like my eyes,

And then I’m asleep, which should be no surpri-zzzzz …

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