The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

Attn: Ellen (10/17/18)

Front

Ellen370a

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen370b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I decided my dog is like a crazy scientist who has come up from her lab and is yelling about some potentially world-ending catastrophe and we’re like, “nah crazy scientist, that’s just the neighbor – you JUST saw him” and she’s like “RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

It’s charming.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (10/10/18)

Front

Ellen368a

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen367b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I could be wrong, but I bet if the U.S. had royalty their modern descendants would be an awful trash heap of humanity.

But maybe I’m a bit pessimistic.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Working Harder, Not Smarter

DumbFunnery fans, rejoice! We have some exciting news for you! That’s right, we are finally getting a book published.

The book, The Idiot’s Guide to Working Harder, Not Smarter will be hitting the shelves this year sometime in mid January. The book is following its own advice, publishing at a time that is considered awful for sales and publicity.

This will be the first in a new approach taken by ‘The Idiots Guide’ book series. Embracing the culture of the United States, which is seeking out the dumbest possible answer to all questions (for examples see: the news) the Idiots Guide series has decided to explain how to be a better idiot, rather than explaining complex topics in simpler terms.

Will this backfire? I don’t know. ZERO, I repeat ZERO market research was done in preparation for this new book. Experts were interviewed, but only so that we could question their stupid degrees and mock them for their ‘years of dedication and hard work’ (losers).

What can you expect if you buy this book? Expect a lot, or a little, I don’t care.

Some of the chapters in the book include, but are not limited to:

  • Mowing Your Lawn Naked and Removing Chopped Up Pine Cones from your Bits and Pieces
  • Literary References and THE DEVIL – What Your ‘Smart’ Coworkers Are Doing While Chanting in the Woods (and How to Stop Them!)
  • How Long Should I Laugh When Someone Says ‘Fart’?
  • Checking Out a Book From the Library, Then Losing It, Then Suing the Library for Some Asinine Reason
  • How to Look Up the Word ‘Asinine’ and Then Justifying Your Anger Over Someone Knowing a Word You Don’t Know

I’m going to stop there because ‘Working Harder, Not Smarter’ isn’t for free, you free-loading slop monkey.

Please, buy the book!