The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Ellen DeGeneres’

Attn: Ellen (7/19/17)

Front

Ellen317a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen317b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

What year do you think it will be when the United States runs out of -gate words?

“It’s BananaGate all over again!”

“Wait … BananaGate or BananasFosterGate?”

“Huh? Dude, if anything it’s like PeanutButterAndBananaSandwichGate 2.0.”

My prediction? 2018. Let me know your best guess.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (7/12/17)

Front

Ellen316a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen316b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

My dryer is pretty fancy. Every time it finishes a load a little song plays. It’s like my wife and I are leveling up in a Super Nintendo game.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (7/5/17)

Front

Ellen315a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen315b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Unless this girl is a squatter, I’m not entirely sure she knows what ‘moderate cost’ means. But hey, we all need a summer shack, right?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?