The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘fun’

Join Me in Boycotting Neutrogena

Neutrogena is a criminally offensive and awful organization and I insist that everyone join me in boycotting them. It’s one thing to be awful, but to be awful so publicly and with a smile on your face is not forgivable. Honestly, it sickens me. I can’t stop hearing some fresh-faced innocent looking young woman saying that phrase, “cleans up your poors.” Really?!? Just because they’re poor doesn’t mean they aren’t people!

Join me everyone! Join me in boycotting Neutrogena!

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Attn: Ellen (8/6/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I have a multiple choice question for you:

Which of the following rap aliases would you prefer?

A) 2SLeePy

B) Cuddle City

C) The nap attack

D) Little Bo Sleep

Let me know @DumbFunnery!

Sincerely,

That Guy, aka

DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (7/30/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres Postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres Postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Do you think the first chiropractor was just a really bad assassin?

Picture this: you’re home in a deep sleep. You wake up and feel something around your head and neck! Fear has immobilized your body but all you wish you could do is to scream or move or fight back and suddenly there’s a violent movement and … No! … This is the end! … This … Hey, that actually felt pretty good. The mysterious figure tries again the other way and … whala, what relief.

In the end you throw the stranger some money and also get a back massage.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com or @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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