The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘haiku’

November Haiku

November 1 (Wednesday)
‘Go ahead, make my …’
Would be a good restaurant.
Or not. Whatever.

November 2 (Thursday)
(Laughter subsiding)
Well sure! Cannibalism!
(Laughter picks back up)

November 3 (Friday)
Wake up. Status check.
Not exhausted! Fantastic!
Look out, here I come!

November 4 (Saturday)
Army – Air Force game
Don’t need to watch the scoreboard
Dad’s whoops tell it all

November 5 (Sunday)
Smile from kiddo
Rare, magical, and like drugs
I NEED MY NEXT FIX

November 6 (Monday)
Same problem for days
Did code fix itself this weekend?
Gah, that’d be scary.

November 7 (Tuesday)
Trumpy’s in Gina
He’s likely hoping to meet
THE General Tso

November 8 (Wednesday)
Twitter allows more
What do they want from me, huh?
Ten daily haiku?!

November 9 (Thursday)
Cooler weathers here
Makes for unpleasant jogging
But beautiful views

November 10 (Friday)
Catch up on the news.
Look at how long til work ends.
Big sigh. And repeat.

November 11 (Saturday)
Saw a swearing in
Heart heavy for future vets
With our simple pres

November 12 (Sunday)
Wife’s folks visiting
Because you need four people
To ‘awwww’ over poops

November 13 (Monday)
“What big teeth you have!”
“They’re dentures … You little brat …”
Little Red: Prequel

November 14 (Tuesday)
Year ago today:
‘Hope he’s not dumb as I think.’
Today: he’s dumber

November 15 (Wednesday)
‘Death by tickle fight’
If that was a news headline
World peaked? Or new low?

November 16 (Thursday)
Just think, future self
Years from now I’ll threaten son,
“Santa’s watching you!”

November 17 (Friday)
I’m shocked. SHOCKED I say!
Nation with ‘pussy grab’ pres
… Has sex pred problem?

November 18 (Saturday)
Classic burbs dad day
Chipotle, Target, Costco
Boundless adventure

November 19 (Sunday)
Finally caught up
With Game of Thrones … Anyone
Feel like discussing?

November 20 (Monday)
In 5 day work weeks
People work 5 days. 3 day weeks?
4 hours of work?

November 21 (Tuesday)
Long duration test
Failed after running for days
Big sigh. Try again.

November 22 (Wednesday)
“Sing-ularity”
A musical version of
The Terminator

November 23 (Thursday)
Happy Thanksgiving!
May you eat til you hate life!
Wait … That sounds … Not nice

November 24 (Friday)
Step 1: Fry turkey.
Step 2: Don’t burn down the house.
Step 3: Say ‘phew,’ eat.

November 25 (Saturday)
Folks watch the kiddo
While I go back up to bed
It’s the little things

November 26 (Sunday)
Some Christmas gifts done
Those that are toughest still blank
That seems about right

November 27 (Monday)
Hung up lights with pops
House looks great! … But already
Dreading taking down

November 28 (Tuesday)
Folks headed back home
And I’m back at work today
Day status: womp womp

November 29 (Wednesday)
Wrote work goals for year
‘Stay employed’ not on the list
But kinda implied

November 30 (Thursday)
How’s it possible
That short weeks always feel long?
Seriously. How?

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

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October Haiku

October 1 (Sunday)
Flag. Definition:
Object. Represents nation.
Flag equals troops? NOPE.

October 2 (Monday)
New scars for U.S.
Do we pause, and examine?
Pres: too soon to think

October 3 (Tuesday)
Listen, when I hunt,
I need to kill 40 deer
In 5 seconds, K?

October 4 (Wednesday)
What a baseball game
Happy for the Diamondbacks
Happy for baseball

October 5 (Thursday)
Work status this week
Brain? Semi-check. Coffee? Check.
Staring dumbly? Check.

October 6 (Friday)
Sorry to the songs
I butcher, and change words
For diaper changes

October 7 (Saturday)
Woken up from nap
For a Home Depot errand
Hi, I’m clichè dad

October 8 (Sunday)
The flies where I live
Are awful this time of year
I need you Mickey!!

October 9 (Monday)
Oh, hi there Monday
You beautiful old hussy
Wait, what? What’s that mean?

October 10 (Tuesday)
Prepped for flu season
Flu shot? Nah. I watch people
And lick the sick ones

October 11 (Wednesday)
Cuddle time with son
Deep sleep. Ten second cry. Sleep.
Boy: you confuse me

October 12 (Thursday)
Does the Navy test
Each sailors sassy levels?
If not, they oughta

October 13 (Friday)
Son was due today
He’ll be chronically early
Based on his birth date

October 14 (Saturday)
Jose Altuve
Whose strike zone is the size of
A watermelon

October 15 (Sunday)
Dance walking the house
Is my watch tracking these steps?
If not, that is harsh

October 16 (Monday)
Tip for making friends:
Drop ice when you leave a room
Then folks know you’re cool

October 17 (Tuesday)
Life goal eighty-six:
Work with group, all named Bambi
Start emails: ‘Deer Team’

October 18 (Wednesday)
Nicknames for the kid:
Little chunk, bun bun, monster
Will he learn his name?

October 19 (Thursday)
My brother’s birthday
He’s 40! Nuts! And, oddly,
That makes me feel old

October 20 (Friday)
My wife’s grandparents
In town to see the kiddo
Oh, and us, I guess

October 21 (Saturday)
Watching Astros plus
Cuddling with the baby:
Happy grandparents

October 22 (Sunday)
Waking from a nap
As though I was tranquilized
How very restful?

October 23 (Monday)
One day I’ll look back
And think: what happened this day?
And I’ll draw a blank

October 24 (Tuesday)
Will I reach an age
Where I don’t need to stroll through
A store’s toy aisle

October 25 (Wednesday)
In case you forgot
Donald Trump is still garbage
Making US worse

October 26 (Thursday)
“Bottom of the …” *boop*
“Bases are …” *boop* oh hi!! *boop*
(Baseball with the kid)

October 27 (Friday)
Had some friends over
Made vegetarian food
aka a snack

October 28 (Saturday)
Weekend! My old friend!
Oh, hey kiddo, what do you need?
Ah, constant movement.

October 29 (Sunday)
Went to a friend’s ranch
Made friends with some buffalo
It was a good day

October 30 (Monday)
Manafort’s defense:
“You said ‘illegal?’ I thought
“You said ‘ill legal!'”

October 31 (Tuesday)
Kid’s first Halloween
I dressed as a slutty dad
Wore sexy spit-up

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

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September Haiku

September 1 (Friday)
Wife’s discharge delayed
She spiked a fever, which means
The party goes on

September 2 (Saturday)
Heading home today!
But leaving without our guy
Leads to some shed tears

September 3 (Sunday)
Wife’s folks leave today
Time to find our new normal
(Trying not to drown)

September 4 (Monday)
Labor Day today
My bad joke loving self hoped
He was born today

September 5 (Tuesday)
Drive wife to NICU
Go to work, drive wife back home,
Go to NICU, sleep

September 6 (Wednesday)
4 pm coffee?
Don’t mind if I do! Wait … Wait …
IT’S 9 AM?!?! … Uggggghhhhh

September 7 (Thursday)
Wife’s breathing is off
Call doc: ‘you need the ER’
Long stay but all’s well

September 8 (Friday)
Sleeping at NICU
Machine noises, baby sounds
And chatty nurses

September 9 (Saturday)
Some sleep here each night
How. How? How how how? … Hu … How?
My brain is broken

September 10 (Sunday)
Making some pals here
Who knew: NICU parents lounge
Where the cool kids are

September 11 (Monday)
Wife’s driving again!
This gives me more time each day
Which means more cuddles

September 12 (Tuesday)
NICU sleep plan changed
Leave to head home feeling bad
Exhaustion or guilt?

September 13 (Wednesday)
Mom and sis flew in!
So you guys want dinner, or …
First stop, duh, meet him

September 14 (Thursday)
Boss and boss’s boss
Both being real supportive
Tears, stay in your ducts!

September 15 (Friday)
Stayed up late tonight
Chatting with my mom and sis
A breath of fresh air

September 16 (Saturday)
Awful night for me
Feeding him alarms sound
His heart rate dropped LOW

September 17 (Sunday)
Doc says we *can* leave
But I can’t leave this afraid
I’m scared to feed him

September 18 (Monday)
Huge sigh of relief!
Night with the kiddo went well!!
We’re taking him home!!!

September 19 (Tuesday)
First doctor’s visit!
(Not counting three weeks of rounds)
(And some specialists)

September 20 (Wednesday)
Paternity leave
During the day – all is great
At night – hellish fear

September 21 (Thursday)
Went to new friends house!
Some fellow NICU parents
Commiserate and laugh

September 22 (Friday)
Jekyll and Hyde deal
By day – a little angel
By night – a hell spawn

September 23 (Saturday)
Before: kid pics dull,
Why send so many pictures?
Now: I understand

September 24 (Sunday)
Football, nap, repeat?
Football, baby, nap, repeat.
Big routine changes

September 25 (Monday)
The house is all love
Cooing over the baby
And chats ’bout his poop

September 26 (Tuesday)
Sleep deprivation,
And being away from work:
Time has no meaning

September 27 (Wednesday)
Doctor’s appointment
Losing weight in the worst way
Via his foreskin

September 28 (Thursday)
Holy crap – fall’s here!
Went out for a walk and saw
Leaves have changed colors

September 29 (Friday)
Strolling through Target
Should I buy LEGOs for him?
Him! Not me! … I swear?

September 30 (Saturday)
When your teams aren’t good
Cherish 2 and 0 days
Go Army and Stangs!

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

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