Superman Going Clothes Shopping
“Hi, welcome to McMurphy’s!”
“Hi, thank you.”
“Let me know if I can help you, Mr. Kent.”
“Oh! … Sure … How … uh … How did you know my name?”
“Well … You came in here yesterday … And you bought some clothes … Kent, right? Clark Kent?”
“Yes … Yes … That’s my name … Quite the average name, huh?”
“Um … Sure …”
“Say, do you have any of this size shirt, but in white?”
“Um … Yeah … Here let me look in the back for you …”
“Thanks!”
“…Um … Yeah … We have one …”
“What’s that? It’s hard to hear you when you’re speaking to me from the stock room? I have such normal hearing! Ha!”
“Um … Yeah … Sorry … So … I said … We have one …”
“Great!”
“But it’s pretty expensive. More expensive than the brand you usually buy.”
“Oh … Gosh … Money is pretty tight …”
“I can imagine.”
“What do you mean by that? I have a regular job that any human could have.”
“Um … Well … I meant because uh … Well … Remember yesterday when you were in here … And you bought a new pair of slacks, a tie and a nice shirt?”
“Why, yes, I do remember that.”
“Well … Uh … Then you said you wanted to wear them out?”
“Yes … Perfectly normal. I had a meeting.”
“Right! Yeah! Of course but uh … Well … I found your new clothes … Plus the clothes you’d worn in … umm … In a phone booth … That one … Right there … It’s right outside the door to our store … Like ten feet from where I’m standing.”
“Oh …”
“So uh … I mean you come in here … a lot … And you always buy … Pretty much the same exact thing … And you say you’ve got a regular job …”
“Yes! I’m a reporter! Quite normal!”
“Yeah! No! I completely agree! It’s just uh … Well anyway, I went outside and grabbed all the clothes once I’d noticed you’d ah … misplaced them … And so here they are … Since it’s probably pretty expensive buying new clothes all the time …”
“Oh! How kind of you! Thank you, citizen!”
“And uh … I’ve got a cousin who’s a cop and … Well the cops find … Probably at least twice a day … Um … Clothes … Like the ones you buy here … That … Happen to match what you’re wearing now …”
“Oh! As a journalist … I should investigate this …”
“Yeah, right! Of course! I figured … So my cousin brought all the clothes here in these trash bags … If you want them … For your uh … article …”
“Yes, thank you!”
DumbFunnery 