The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘humor’

Attn: Ellen (8/31/16)

Front

Ellen275a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen275b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This week my wife is visiting family, and I’m left with free time for some culinary experiments. For example, how many nights in a row is TOO many nights in a row to have chip dip for dinner? And, how much ice cream do I need to consume before my sweat is sweet instead of salty?

In the meantime, I am the yeti on this postcard and my belly is the fire-breathing dragon.

(Dear Wife,

If you have intercepted the mail: 1, tsp, tsp, that’s postal fraud and 2, please come home soon.)

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (8/24/16)

Front

Ellen274a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen274b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I wonder if Lewis and Clark kept tallies on each other, for how many times they said, “aww!” Also I wonder if they said “AHHHHH!!!” just as many times.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Recently I thought to myself, “do you think you get all the jokes when you read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” in the 9th grade?”

And in response I said to myself, “shh, I think something cool is about to happen!”

And in response I sat down next to myself and said quietly, “oh sorry, what’re you watching?”

And in response to that I said, “dude, seriously!”

hhgg-hhgg-softAnd then we both sat and waited til the episode was over and then I realized, you know, I should watch the next episode. And tomorrow night, I should start re-reading The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Having finished re-reading the book, I enjoyed it less than the first time I read the book. The reason, I think, is because the first time I read the book it was required the summer before my freshman year and the other required reading book was The Old Man and the Sea. (What a combo, huh?) I read Hemingway’s book first and then Hitchhiker’s and I think that added to the enjoyment. Also, it may have been the first time I read such a silly book that wasn’t a children’s book. It was eye-opening. You can be nonsensical and ridiculous and people can throw lofty praises your way? That was amazing to me.

The book itself was probably better this time around, but the novelty of it and how refreshing it was to read in comparison to The Old Man and the Sea make the experience of reading it the first time fairly unbeatable.

Enough of my rambling, time for a few quotes.

 

“then why do you do it? What is it? The girls The leather? The machismo? Or do you just find that comping to terms with the mindless tedium of it all presents an interesting challenge?”

 

She wished she knew what it was she was trying not to think about.

 

“Hi there! This is Eddie, your shipboard computer, and I’m feeling just great, guys, and I know I’m just going to get a bundle of kicks out of any program you care to run through me.”

 

There are of course many problems connected with life, of which some of the most popular are Why are people born? Why do they die? Why do they want to spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?