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Posts tagged ‘Juicebox’

El Thanksgiving

These are arepas. Delicious little devils. They are prepared in different ways, the ones that looked like this at the last place we visited were my favorite. Like little delicious pancakes.

This year for Thanksgiving my fiancé and I were in Bogotá, Colombia. What better feast than some arepas, fruit juices and calentado.

A friend of mine, Juicebox, is from Colombia and got married to a girl who is also from Colombia. Naturally, their wedding was in Colombia.

Here’s something I learned about Colombia which I already miss – they are champions of juice. Not steroids, just … you know, fruit-based drinks.

The juices I got to try while I was there …

  • orange (not so crazy)
  • blackberry
  • lulo (also known as naranjilla or ‘little orange’)
  • maracuyá (a kind of passion fruit)
  • guanabana (also known as soursop … which is much less fun to say)
  • pineapple
  • some unidentified reddish one.

For some, like blackberry (which is mora in Spanish) you would look at the list of juices and hear ‘mora is blackberry’ but others like guanabana, maracuyá and lulo the additional information was, ‘there’s no translation, they just don’t have that in the U.S.’

But … why!? Lulo and guanabana are delicious!  (To me maracuyá was delicious in the form of a milkshake, not so much as a juice.) From looking at other people writing about these things, I have had it reinforced that I enjoy more sweet things than most … Other people actually said these juices were too sweet. What the what?

I found an article talking about Coca Cola potentially selling fruit juices available in Colombia abroad but I have not seen them. I will certainly be keeping an eye out now though. From my quick google searching I didn’t see a reason why those fruits aren’t available in the United States but my guess is the fruits don’t travel well. Either that or Colombia is only too happy to lord this over the rest of the world while sipping delicious drinks.

(On the one hand I would be very happy if Coke brought those juices to the US. On the other hand I’d be sad if it was Coke doing it.)

Another fruit we had was grenadilla. A nice couple told us to try this – we assumed it was an orange and skipped right by it. But no, it has a hard outer shell that is easily cracked. My buddy told me the best way to open this fruit is by bopping your friend on the head to crack the fruit open (we used the table), then there’s a spongy sort of covering that you peel apart to reveal … what appears to be alien brains inside. I am open to trying new foods, but I have to admit I am a wuss when the appearance is a little … oh, alien brain-ish I suppose. But we dove in with spoons and this thing was delicious!

Oh Colombia, please export more fruits!

Fun fact: Colombia’s sixth highest export item is flowers. There were greenhouses all over around Bogotá. Another fun fact: your co-workers will make one dumb joke every seven seconds leading up to your departure and right after your return about suspected exported items from Colombia. For them you give 0 chocolate or coffee gifts.

What To Do If You Find Yourself in a Riot

A good friend of mine, Juicebox, is going to the World Cup. It’s going to be fantastic, but the other day he pointed out something to me:

Everyone keeps saying, some jokingly and some not, warnings about riots.

First of all, as with almost everything in life, it’s all about preparation. In addition to packing shorts, good walking shoes, shirts, your team’s gear, etc, why not pack a few riot shields? Maybe a gas mask and Kevlar body armor too. Sure it may raise a few eyebrows at the airport (possibly prevent you from flying?) but whenever security asks you a question about your frighteningly heavy suitcase respond coolly “takes one to know one.”

Riot police, or prepared-for-the-worst soccer fans?

I’ve heard rumor of riot police using tear gas, so bring a lot of tissues. If you’re short on money, toilet paper works. You’ll be a crowd favorite when they’re getting “handled” by the police and you hand out items to deal with the waterworks.

Also, bring extra underwear. Just trust me on this. Lastly, get a lot of pictures of attractive people and cute animals on your phone. This will help with the flight and also it comes into play in a riot.

(In case riot police are reading this: The movie Up is a much less expensive way to induce tears. Plus it has the added benefit of teaching people about love.)

That’s enough talk of prep – let’s get to the good stuff.

What To Do If You Find Yourself in a Riot

1 – Stay calm. If you can’t, go ahead and crap your pants, that way you are forced to stay calm because no adult in their right mind is going to be running/jumping/moving about with all that going on in their underroos.

2 – Use soothing tones, maybe just make cooing noises. Picture the rioting people, or police in head-to-toe riot gear, as an angry dog. If you have food, shake it with good intentions toward the face of the rioter/police. For the sake of a good sound, I’d recommend a box of crackers. (It sounds like an edible puzzle!)

3 – Get your phone out and start showing people around you the pictures of attractive people or animals. Take a look at who is around you and use your best guess to determine what they would like. Here are some tips:

a. If the person near you is a guy who has ripped off his shirt only to reveal an underwhelming lack of diet or workout concerns, try a picture of a mostly naked lady

b. If the person near you is a motherly figure who looks like she could kill with her eyes, try a picture of Matthew McConaughey

c. If it’s a cop, try a picture of a kitten cuddling with a puppy sleeping on TOP of a large dog (Talk about adorable!)

4 – Walk with confidence toward the nearest baby. No one (police or rioters) wants to hurt a baby and have that clip playing 24×7 on the news. Just hang out near the baby. The animal pictures, food, and messy pants will all endear you to the kiddo so you’ve got yourself a new buddy.

 

Good luck Juicebox. With my pro tips in mind, everything will be just fine.

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